By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
At 85 years old, this way of life is not very pleasant and probably not realistic to maintain. Since you have already made her a hospice patient, talk with her doctor about her current behavior. The doctor may be able to adjust her medications to help her.
I would also not worry about them not putting in her teeth. It's probably too much effort for all involved. Is she eating the soft diet? Can you get her ensure or something liquid for calories if she's not loving the soft diet. Yogurt has good protein, for example.
As far as hitting the walls, I would ask about a small dose of something for anxiety to help her feel calmer.
Sorry that your mom is failing.
When my brother was dying of pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver, lymph nodes and lower lung, we attempted dialysis since his kidneys were still functioning, but at a significantly impaired level. However, his blood pressure got too low during the dialysis session so we stopped the session. We tried 2 more times, then gave up.
He didn't want to use hospice. He died about 5 days later due to toxic buildup in his system.
I have a friend that goes to dialysis regularly. He goes 3 times a week and it takes him 2-3 hours after each session to feel like himself again.
Next thing my younger brother had something similar but kidney failure due to inability to urinate for several days. He had a bladder tumor the size of a grapefruit that ended as stage 4. He only lived 6 weeks from diagnosis. He lost appetite and spent most days sleeping. He needed no opiates and quietly stopped away. His kidneys barely put out urine
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/health/info-2019/hospice-need-to-know/?cmp=KNC-DSO-CAREGIVING-Caregiving-Hospice-NonBrand-Exact-44452-GOOG-Hospice-Exact-NonBrand&gclid=CjwKCAjw_uGmBhBREiwAeOfsd700fhQUIDk2mbfrDXZX7WF8_9myFDWHI9XvblpePLo1ss--cO6wWBoCdeoQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
I would like to gently ask the blunt questions;
Firstly, what does MIL's Kidney Specialist recommend about dialysis? IF recommended, for what aim?
For comfort care measures? Or attempt to lengthen life?
I realise thereare many people that value taking all medical measures to prolong a life. There are others that value nature's way. Your families values will shape how you feel.
I would ask, despite not speaking, can your MIL communicate what she wants?
Does she understand about her condition? If so, does she want *invasive treatments*?
While I have not had dialysis treatment, I've met many people that have. They report it is not painful but is tedious. They can feel cool/cold & tired afterwards - but I'm sure that varies. They can show some confusion (due to build up of toxins) on non-dialysys days in end stage. This can sometimes cause distress to relatives.
For younger people on a donor list, dialysis can be a holding pattern until a more hopeful future life.
For me, at advanced age, I value quality of life over invasive treatments.
I don't love life so much that I'd opt for that, myself.
If you're waiting for a transplant, that's one thing. If you are simply choosing to treat kidney failure as part of aging--well, that's your choice.
This is definitely one time you need to opinions of the drs and listen to them.
It doesn't appear to be painful, at least. My MIL's kidneys are shutting down and she has not complained of pain of any kind.
Thank all of you for your replies and compassion.
It is much appreciated and helpful.
Bless each of you in your journey. Grace! Grace! Grace!
whew.
Lainey
Thank all of you for your replies and compassion.
It is much appreciated and helpful.
Bless each of you in your journey. Grace! Grace! Grace!
whew.
Lainey
So sorry she and you are going thru this.