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You’re absolutely right to feel that it may have been difficult for her to hear the truth.
Your assessment of her not being able to fully understand what is going on is correct.
I realize that you feel badly about not being able to be completely honest with your mom. That’s natural because it isn’t in your make up to intentionally deceive others.
There are always going to be conflicting emotions as we continue on in our caregiving journey. I know that I felt a range of emotions when I was caregiving for my parents.
Wishing you peace through this challenging time in your life.
She asked, we responded that it would be put up for sale and that we would tell her when we did that, she said "Ok" and never mentioned it again.
We may be selling my parents' house in the foreseeable future. My parents seem to be resigned to the house being sold, we've talked about it. I just wish they downsized years ago and did not leave this to us. Let's pile this on to everything else I am dealing with right now.
Cleaning this house out will be a massive task, it's daunting. My parents lived in that house since 1962 so there's lotsa stuff.
I agree with whomever said you probably instinctively knew which path to take with her.
Even though she bought the house long after I was an adult and I never lived in it, cleaning it out was so hard. She was fairly minimalist, so I didn’t face the chaos so many here do, but she was everywhere in the house. Even my dog and my cat and her cat are buried there. I grieved endlessly. People were all cheerful and let’s get ‘er done, and I’d go in dragging my feet up the steps like a 3 year old sent to bed after being told Santa was a filthy lie. I told myself it was hard and sad, it was supposed to be hard and sad because I love her, but hard and sad don’t last if I let the emotions in and processed them.
Best wishes as you go through this difficult time.
Not being truthful to people with dementia is fine. In fact many times it's more of a kindness than a lie.
Tell her she still has a house. Tell her whatever makes her happy at this point.
Letting our family home go was much harder for me (and my brother) than it was for her. Within a few weeks she had no memory of it after living there 50 years.
I would do what keeps your mom happy and calm. That is your highest priority now.