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I have seen that done over and over in the different facilities that I visit. It's a win win for everyone.
Although many seniors talk about going home when they sundown, your Mom sounds very capable of actually pulling it off -- which is worrisome.
Talk to the admins about having her be a "helper" for the activities director and see if they can safely give her other tasks in the afternoons. Or, consider meds for agitation and anxiety, which may tone down the "going home" thoughts.
When my FIL got to the SNF, I would have described him as "not as demented as others" but things changed on a dime and the hallucinations and delusions caught us really off guard. Thankfully, they had the resources to deal with it.
I would definitely ask for a family care plan meeting - and discuss options. I wouldn't hold my breath though - if she is in memory care - its likely for a reason.
You say that she is in the locked down memory care side because she talked about going home a lot and they are afraid she would walk out. Is there more to that? I would hazard that the vast majority of people in a facility (unless it is independent living) usually lean heavily on wanting to go home.
You say that she is active and bored. Is she capable of completing her Activities of Daily Living? Or will you have to essentially "a la carte" her needs in Assisted Living? Is she a flight risk? Can she remember to take medications? Will she remember to shower or change her clothes or eat? Or will you have to pay extra for each ADL that she needs prompting or assistance with?
Are you seeing her regularly? Or is this based on phone conversations? Sometimes its easier to showtime on the phone than in person. And if you are seeing her in person, how long are those visits - because again the ability to showtime is usually pretty short but can be maintained for short visits or phone calls.
You have a lot to think about. Definitely engage the staff who work with her daily to get their thoughts.
Wishing you good luck. Hope you will tell us what you learned after you come back from an appointment with the administration.
She's in the same facility.
Why not give this a try?
If it doesn't work there is little lost in the trying.
I would encourage you to get either (or both) a paid caregiver in there to spend 1-2 hours with her a week and volunteers on 2-3 other days. She needs more socialization - contact schools (colleges), churches, networks to find volunteers.
Gena / Touch Matters
You can push to have her placed in assisted living, wait for her to “escape” and disappear, be injured, or die, and then file suit against the facility for negligence.
We have managed the care of several family members with dementia..the first being my husbands aunt who had never married or had children, so we were the only family she had left so we moved her to a facility closer to us. We had zero experience and made the mistake of placing her in assisted living and had a separate company coming in for three hours a day to help her get dressed and washed and provide some company to her because we felt the same way you do..."she is not as bad as the folks in memory care". Well, unfortunately she walked right out of the front door of the assisted living facility and another family found her walking around the parking lot and she didn't know where she was. What if no one would have seen her? What if it would have been winter and she froze to death? She could have been killed! We felt so guilty and immediately moved her to a locked down memory care.
I suggest looking for other ways to entertain your mom while keeping her safe in memory care.
There are a lot of good suggestions here. For instance can you, or someone take her to join in some of the social activities that are offered on the assisted living and the memory care side?
Visit her often, and arrange for friends and family to visit and engage her in a game or an outing, or just to visit and talk.
I remember when my own Dad was living in an Independent Living facility, the Staff found Dad trying to leave the building late in the evening as he was developing what is called "sundowning", mean his mild dementia became worse after sunset, but went back to mild in the morning. The Staff highly recommended that Dad would be safer in Memory Care. Wouldn't be surprised that could what your Mom is going through.
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