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Go back in your history, as best as you can, and write down dates, times, places, witnesses, what was said or written. It'll be long and tedious, but that can help show a pattern of action by everyone if it's ever needed.
I do agree with others who recommend you contact Adult Services to report what's been done to your mother's belongings and finances, and seriously consider resigning as POA and step away. Best wishes to you.
If you decide not to try to be part of this mess at any point , and are stepping back , you will need to officially record with a lawyer that you are giving up POA .
While I understand your wanting to know where mom is, and that she's safe, are you sure you want to continue being her primary caregiver under these circumstances? You don't mention anything in your profile about her having any sort of cognitive decline. So is she easily influenced by your sister? If she can be so easily convinced that you, her child and primary caregiver, are lying and stealing from her, why would you want to continue to put yourself into that line of fire, so to speak? And if there is indeed some sort of dementia in play here, that paranoia is only going to get worse, and not better.
If I were in your position, I would have to seriously consider just how far I want to take this fight to get back to being her primary caregiver, promise or no. After all, you were willing to keep your promise, but HER decision to go with your sister releases you from that vow, in my opinion.
But if it was me I would back off . 10- 15 years ago ignorant me probably would have stayed for the fight . I’ve gotten wiser.
Lilkotasgma, if you decide to try and you get control back of Moms care and moms money . Please put her in a facility . Living with her under your care will make you a target for accusations .
Let me tell you what happened to me. I was representative payee of my BIL for 5yrs before that my husband and I took care of him for 15yrs because no one wanted to take care of him. When we started he was taking his meds all at one time day and night so I started to fill his pills. Then when it came to taking him to the doctor appts we did that too. His education level is of a 10yr old but he did graduate HS. When I couldn't take him to the ER his niece stepped in and took him from there on she got POA paperwork(which it isn't worth the paper its printed on because as witnesses we didn't see him sign the paperwork per attorney we got). Then they tried to get him for incompetent didn't happen doctor wouldn't sign the paperwork. Then they tried getting his money that he had but couldn't because I was the rep payee of social security. But the niece did drain one account that I had no control over. I got the rep payee of social security because of dementia short term memory was gone. He had this before he signed those POA paperwork which wasn't legal there either.
When they couldn't get his money they went after me I was turned into DHS twice and Social security once for misuse of funds. Mind you I have never taken a dime from this man even as his rep payee for services rendered to him like gas to take him to doctor appts. All were unfounded and I found out that I was turned in by the POA's. They didn't understand Medicaid which I had to get him on because he was in a nursing home. When I was cleared I turned everything over to that nursing home and let them fight with his POA's. Which they have already done because his POA's believe they can change his health insurance to get a program where a credit card was allowed never happened.
We were seeing him bringing everything he needed like snacks and pop. I finally cut all cords I had to close a bank account that he put me on as owner which he had this bank acct for 19 yrs and pull out all cash out of another one that I wanted for him to use but couldn't because of the POA's they used it for themselves. We haven't been up to the nursing home in awhile because of covid. But we cut all ties to that side of the family. Stress was one major factor and our health was another.
Like everyone says go see a lawyer and the next step is guardianship. Hope you have the money to do it because it is expensive.
Prayers
If your mother’s POA wasn’t written through a lawyer then you would need to seek the advice of an elder law attorney to clarify the problems that you are having with your sister.
Good luck in trying to resolve this problem.
You can call Adult Protective Services and / or get a lawyer. Most folks can't afford a lawyer...start with APS.
I would also question that if both of you are equal POAs, doesn't anything done for Mom have to be signed off by both POAs. Does ur POA say "and" or "or" when it comes to your dual responsibilities.
A prime example why dual POA or even Guardianship is not a good idea.
I've heard of these differences many mnay times.
Sib A. Is for Home Care 100%.
Sib B. Is 100% for Aged Care Home (AL, MC or NH).
They each view home care & aged care home through their own lens.
They may demonise each other.
Yes there can be those with financial agenda's too. Those that wish to hold on to a property (this can be either side).
See what free legal advice is available to you first.
I would consult an attorney.