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I would consult an attorney.
I've heard of these differences many mnay times.
Sib A. Is for Home Care 100%.
Sib B. Is 100% for Aged Care Home (AL, MC or NH).
They each view home care & aged care home through their own lens.
They may demonise each other.
Yes there can be those with financial agenda's too. Those that wish to hold on to a property (this can be either side).
See what free legal advice is available to you first.
While I understand your wanting to know where mom is, and that she's safe, are you sure you want to continue being her primary caregiver under these circumstances? You don't mention anything in your profile about her having any sort of cognitive decline. So is she easily influenced by your sister? If she can be so easily convinced that you, her child and primary caregiver, are lying and stealing from her, why would you want to continue to put yourself into that line of fire, so to speak? And if there is indeed some sort of dementia in play here, that paranoia is only going to get worse, and not better.
If I were in your position, I would have to seriously consider just how far I want to take this fight to get back to being her primary caregiver, promise or no. After all, you were willing to keep your promise, but HER decision to go with your sister releases you from that vow, in my opinion.
But if it was me I would back off . 10- 15 years ago ignorant me probably would have stayed for the fight . I’ve gotten wiser.
Lilkotasgma, if you decide to try and you get control back of Moms care and moms money . Please put her in a facility . Living with her under your care will make you a target for accusations .
I would also question that if both of you are equal POAs, doesn't anything done for Mom have to be signed off by both POAs. Does ur POA say "and" or "or" when it comes to your dual responsibilities.
You can call Adult Protective Services and / or get a lawyer. Most folks can't afford a lawyer...start with APS.
Go back in your history, as best as you can, and write down dates, times, places, witnesses, what was said or written. It'll be long and tedious, but that can help show a pattern of action by everyone if it's ever needed.
I do agree with others who recommend you contact Adult Services to report what's been done to your mother's belongings and finances, and seriously consider resigning as POA and step away. Best wishes to you.
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