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I'm glad he has shown you his priorities before you committed to the relationship legally. Take him at his word. I would not marry (or even waste time dating) someone who didn't put his SO first. It won't get better over time. I would ditch him and his mommy.
You will lose your privacy and a lot more. This will never be your home; it will always be their home.
Do you really want to be in a relationship where you are the third wheel?
If you're being "rude" by stating your feelings, then your fiance doesn't want a wife, just someone to play 2nd fiddle to his first love: mama. You'll always come last in his life.
Not only no, but hell no
Your fiance needs a caregiver/housekeeper more so than a bride-to-be who's quiet and non confrontational methinks. What do YOU think, more importantly?
My dimwitted half sister took up with a man who came as a package deal with his 88 year old mother. Which my sister felt was fine bc she came as a package deal along with her 37 year old do-nothing daughter and 7 year old granddaughter. I warned her against moving into his house and becoming the carer for his mother, but she is as stubborn as a mule. To make a long story short, the man became the husband who then demanded my niece either get a full time job to pay him rent or take care of his mother, or get out. My niece gave him the finger, took her daughter and moved into a shelter in NYC. My sister is facing becoming the caregiver for DHs mother, naturally.
When you face a "strings attached" relationship, you need to be very wary of it, imo. Read this forum for awhile to get an idea of what it looks like to live with a MIL. Me, I'd tell this fiance thanks but no thanks.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult decision.
"no"
Your welcome.
You may like your boyfriend's mother very much. You may even love her, but if you live together that will soon change.
My father used to say that women were like bees and there can only be one queen in a hive. When there's two they will fight to the death. One queen in a hive. One woman in a house.
No living with your boyfriend's mother. Talk him into moving her to an independent senior community while she's still able to look after herself. Then when she can't homecare comes in, or AL, or LTC. This way you don't end up being her caregiver.
Also, here's another bit of useful advice. Don't live with your boyfriend too long. Get married. This is how you really start a life with someone and it will give you certain legal rights. When you're just living together in a boyfriend's house he can kick you out in a second. It's not that easy to when you're legally married. Look out for yourself and your best interests, sister.
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