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If you believe that then you are incredibly naive, and if your husband chose to believe that then he is either deep in denial about his mother's mental health or he knew full well what he was doing and saw this as a vindictive opportunity for payback. Move back out on your own, you must have been managing that way before this "gift".
Preach, my friend. It sounds like a real grift to me too. I don't think the OP is incredibly naive, no.
There was a deal made.
A free house in exchange for a free home in it with caregiving.
Now the OP and her husband want to renege on that deal.
Give the house back then and buy your own. Like I said in a previous comment, I had two MIL's. Neither of them gave me a free house.
From the outside looking in it seems like you are the ones taking advantage of your MIL, and that is not fair to you but without all the facts and details that is how this looks. Random people on the internet do not need that level of information but to give advice that is the level of info people will need. So better off seeking a lawyer.
he’ll protect her right to stay in the house.
So OP has already consulted that lawyer. Now OP was just hoping to find a way to go against that lawyer.
1. "My mother-in-law is schizophrenic and has bipolar disorder".
2. Selling or changing ownership of property is a major financial decision.
3. Being able to understand an issue, weigh up the options & communicate the decision are needed.
4. Sz can effect processing, planning & judgement (executive functioning).
5. Signing over a house deed but not wanting to leave would raise converns the person may not have understood the agreement.
I hope this woman has an advocate to ensure her rights are proteced.
OR she understood the agreement very well:
She has a RIGHT to stay there as long as she wants. That means OP is a guest.
As OP said:
“The lawyer who made the deed for us was saying he’d protect her if we tried to “kick her out.””
IN OTHER WORDS, MIL has a right to live there as long as she wants.
From the limited info you gave so far, MIL gave you and your spouse her home, and you immediately want to kick the sick old woman out to the curb. Seems cruel, ungrateful,and immoral. Her lawyer even thinks that is legally wrong. So what's missing from your story?
It’s impossible that you took good care of her AND you don’t know if she has a therapist or a psychiatrist.
By the way, a therapist CAN’T prescribe PB/schiz meds. By the way, the dosage must be constantly monitored (must see psychiatrist often). That means you and DH never took her to her paychiatrust? Never made sure the dosage is OK?
Also now you say, you don’t know whether it’s the meds that aren’t working, or she’s just mean: in other words, you HAVE NO IDEA if she’s lucid/OK, and you HAVE NO IDEA if she was lucid/OK to sign.
Also, why do you need to move? The house is in your name, you say? That sounds very much like you tricked her. Even when an elderly person gives a house, they often have a RIGHT to live there for life! That means THEY live there, not you. That means so long as they’re alive, YOU ARE THE GUEST.
If she has a right to live there, YOU ARE ONLY A GUEST.
But OP is trying to kick MIL out so OP can stay.
:(
I should say that the right thing to do is to go to the doctor’s with her and discuss medication that she needs. If she won’t agree to let you be part of her medical planning then this is when I would leave it all behind. There are no more insane asylums and for good reason, but what happens to these people is anyone’s guess. Someone will take advantage of her if you can’t help her maintain mental health, but you have to keep your own sanity too. God bless you.
OP, let her live in her house (until recently it was hers). And you and DH move out. I think you shouldn’t accept the gifted house and then kick her out.
If she changed her mind about flying to her country, that’s fine. She has every right to change her mind.
If you says strange things, then she’s not lucid: she needs medical help then. You said her meds don’t really help: that means you feel she’s not 100% lucid. I hope when she deeded the house, she was 100% lucid, otherwise it was a crime to accept her house.
There are many stories of manic people (bipolar) who suddenly gave their house away (but that’s because they weren’t thinking straight; they were having a manic episode).
She has schizophrenic and has bipolar disorder, a past of poor spending habits, and clear lack of judgment yet your guys took the house as you said in another post your husband was going to inherent so you just spend up the process.
Which in my eyes shows what you guys really wanted. I hope this lawyer sticks to his guns.
If I was in your situation I would look into setting a trust with funds gained from house, help her get situated back home. Many things you can do, but kicking her out should not be one of them.
Right. OP, you wanted to speed up the process of kicking her out?
I'm sorry, but it sounds more like your intention to move east was primary just to get the house in your name. Your situation wasn't properly thought out and now it's in disarray. Your mother-in-law has mental health issues and it doesn't sound as if she has this stabilized - and you're not really taking care of her because you have no idea about her medications and how to manage this. Plus, you think she's only around 63 years old - have you and your husband worked out her financials to even know if she's capable of living out her life on her savings without having proceeds from selling her house rather than giving it away ? What is the worth of the house?
Her lawyer had specific provisions to this transaction - she is to live in the house and be taken care of, correct? It seems that's your role in owning the house - the house comes with conditions - nothing in life comes free - accept it or consider moving back west where you were before this.
Do you think you're being fair to your MIL - or was this set-up done selfishly and haphazardly - setting up a chaotic situation? I think there's been a lot of immaturity here on you and your husband's part, sadly.
And I didn’t even know this part: “I just read you say that you moved to the east coast to "take care of her"???...and you've only been living there for 3 months and now it's time for her to leave as soon as the deed was transferred to you?”