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I would think very hard about moving mom into your house. That can be very difficult. With dementia her care is only going to get more difficult.
And finally, I don't understand what you are upset about. This is a great forum and you will get good advice. You don't have to accept it but people will offer their thoughts.
These people typically love animals. It isn't a high paying sideline.
You could try to find someone who can come in to feed the dog, under some acceptable guise such as you want to help her out with dog care, the person is studying to be a vet, or a younger person might be working on an animal care badge for a scouting group.
You might try to tell her that this person needs to assume a high level of care for an animal in order to meet his/her long term educational standards, or to get the badge....the question is whether or not your mother would remember.
I'm wondering also about her diet; is she eating high fat, high sugar foods? Is it possible that you could change her diet to make it more healthful so that scraps aren't as harmful to the dog, as well as provide a menu that she can consult to feed the dog - make it a ritual... every day she can look at the menu to decide which of several items (preferably canned dog food) to feed the dog.
Another option is to make your own dog food; some organic gardeners I know do this, and it's a lot healthier than the canned food. You could package it in jars with pretty ribbons and label it as dog food. Maybe she can adapt to this thinking it's a special treat for the dog.
My Mom is a bit of a narcissist and very controlling. She does not take my suggestions very often if at all. Now, with her increasing dementia I don't know what to expect.
My husband and I took her car away nine months ago because of her multiple accidents and concern for her safety and especially the safety of others. It was not taken lightly by my mother.
I finally used my POA to get her mail forwarded to my house. For the past several years she has been sending money or checks overseas entering contests to win thousands of dollars. I kept reminding her of scams and stealing of identities but to no avail. I haven't yet told her that her mail has been forwarded to my address for fear of her rage and anger.
I am fortunate to have a loving husband who supports me in my efforts. Thank you all for reading.
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