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You obviously are burnt out beyond human limits, so now it's time for you to start caring for yourself and place your mother in the appropriate facility, or you will be one of the 40% who dies before the one they're caring for.
There are social workers at the facilities that can help you get her placed, and if money is an issue they can help you apply for Medicaid for her.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP DOING THIS!!!
You matter too in this equation in case you've forgotten, so call your local area agency on aging and get the ball rolling TODAY to get her placed.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Having said that--can you come back and give us more details. Like what it is you have to do for her? Do you live with her? Do you have sibs who may/or may not be supportive? How is your health being affected by your level of care.
Don't be ashamed for saying what you think. I'm sure that 'hate' is a strong word, and no doubt you hate the SITUATION you are in, and you are projecting that on your mom.
Likely that your mom DOESN'T care what she's doing to you! We're in the same boat--my DH is thoroughly enmeshed in a CG situation with his mother that is not going to end for the forseeable future. I'm not involved AT ALL with this care, and he reminds me all the time that IF only I would 'make nice' with his mother, then I, too, could be one of her CG's.
Uh, no thanks.
PLease do come back and elaborate about the situation. Then you will get some great advice.
{{Hugs}}
Speak to an elder care attorney if you need guidance in placing mom, from a financial standpoint.
Best of luck to you.
The elderly often don't plan, and they expect their children to take care of them. The children are too intimidated or overwhelmed to know what to do. The first step is making phone calls as others have suggested. Do it!
You must have your reasons for these intense emotions. Nevertheless, she deserves to have a caregiver who doesn’t hate her.
You deserve to be free from caring for a woman that you hate. So, please stop this insanity and allow you and your mother to live in peace.
Seek therapy if you need help with achieving this goal. Hopefully you will figure out how to hit the reset button and start over.
It sounds like you have been through the wringer and will need time to heal from your wounds. Wishing you all the best.
Place her in a facility.
No one is obligated to be a caregiver.
If you are being made ill from caregiving it is time not to continue doing it.
If you are having some of the thought that you are having I can imagine they are very disturbing for you. I would suggest a bit of counseling with a good psychologist or a LSW in private counseling practice to comb out a way forward in your life.
I am so very sorry you are currently so distressed.
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