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I am not sure if I hate it. But I dislike it a lot. I am a believer as you know, and I find this holiday to be so commercialized. We do not celebrate Christmas anymore after studying up on some of the traditions that have become the norm, just don't do it anymore.( I do not judge anyone who does, just speaking for me)
I love Jesus and it is more important to remember his death than his birth. Christmas isn't even in the Bible, it is instituted by man.
I always dread this time of year because there are so many expectations placed on a person from others. People start to get crazy. Even those who celebrate Christmas are definitely running around like chickens with their heads cut off, less than jolly and not of good cheer. It's like why do they bother with any of it if it becomes a hassle and not joyful. And traffic gets so horrible and scary, and stores are packed full of people.
And people go about caring about the less fortunate, but what about the less fortunate the rest of the year?
Anyway, I really can't wait for this "holiday" to pass.
My husband says, if it's supposed to be Jesus' birthday, why do people gift one another, shouldn't they be giving gifts to Jesus. When it's someones birthday, we don't give gifts to everyone, just that person.
It too shall pass.
In recent years I've gone no contact with most of them, and have been happier for it, honestly. Since becoming mom's caregiver, it never fails that there's some drama with her (had that one happen Thanksgiving morning as a matter of fact) but it's a bit easier now that she's not living with us, and that we don't have to deal with the other narcissistic family members on her side at Christmas dinner anymore. It's allowed hubs, kids and I to start our own traditions too, and actually get into the spirit more. I wanted my kids to have good memories on the holidays, not the craziness I grew up with.
Personally, I would say skip the stressful family gathering and do something fun, relaxing and nice for yourself, even if it's just something like sitting in your jammies by a fire drinking cocoa and reading a favorite book or having just a quiet time with you and God honoring the day and what it means.
I'm not a big drinker and I hate being around people who drink excessively not to mention all getting into their cars later on and driving drunk. I dare not ever mention that to anybody if I don't want to become public enemy no. one. But seriously, don't they ever think about that even.
One year they made it their goal to get my one nephew stinking drunk. Who does that? At Thanksgiving my brother got his 18 year old daughter into the sauce. I heard her say to her half-sister "its okay, they are all a bunch of alcoholics" How sad that she thinks that.
- Loss of almost all spiritual meaning. I am not religious, yet the original spirit of Christmas moves me. Black Friday, on the other hand, moves me to seek escape from the whole season, regardless of the original reason.
- Finances, commercialism and greed (oh, my!). Pressure to keep up with fictional Joneses. Go into debt, or socially traumatize your kids if you are (or must be) frugal. Have said debt dog you for months, or years, after that one day has passed.
- Forced embrace of family dysfunction. (That goes for Thanksgiving, too!)
- Isolation of those who do not have close friends or family with whom they can celebrate.
- Pressure to celebrate, whether one wants to, or not.
I was brought up with Christmas and loved it until I learned the Truth when I started going to my Church (United Church of God). It is not easy to make the transition from age old traditions that you were brought up with, but once you do, and follow God, you will find such a wonderful peace, and will have a clear mind and conscience at this time of the year, knowing that you are doing the RIGHT thing.
25 years working in retail will do that. Six day work weeks, 12 hour days from the week prior to Thanksgiving thru to the end of December. My last ten years I was a district manager with stores in three states and company HQ in another state. This meant six flights every month - bad enough in the off season but airports are a special kind of hell pretty much most of November and all of December.
Dont even get me started on mall parking lots..!
Then, of course - there was my mother...
From my earliest Christmas memory until two years before she passed - every moment of every Christmas had to be her way. If you didn't play along, she went above and beyond her usual making your life miserable - taking it to a whole new level.
There was the winter she bought me a season pass to the Oregon Symphony so I could go with her - oh, joy - even though I asked her not to. With my job in retail and it being Christmas, I was short on time and even shorter on energy.
Every single performance I fell asleep within minutes of taking our seats. Naturally- that ticked her off. Seems I wasn’t expressing enough of required gratitude- by falling asleep - even though I begged her not to include me in this... but mom needed someone to go with her - to accompany her - to drive her.
As my parents started declining - probably the last five Christmas’s in their home - mom still planned her usual elaborate “family Christmas”. Which meant I spent the day before cleaning her kitchen, bathroom, living room and dining room. And yes, it took all day as even when my mother was in her prime she would NEVER clean the house. Next - I had to arrive at dawn on Christmas Day - leaving hubby and Rainman at home still snug in their beds - they were to arrive later with “the guests” - guess that made me “the help” - so I could start the cooking, rearrange furniture, last minute decorating, etc. Late morning my brothers and their families arrived - one set treated me and mine like dirt and the other set acted like hubby, Rainman and I were invisible. Then, several torturous hours of unwrapping - my mother would blow a gasket if all 15 of us didn’t open our gifts one at a time and at her approved snails pace. Lastly, the meal - dragging it out for at least two hours and acting as if SHE cooked it - after all of that - I got to stay after everyone went home...to clean up. Yeah - good times.
Those years Rainman, hubby and I didn’t even try to have our own Christmas traditions. For us - Christmas was celebrated on the 26th.
So yeah - I hate Christmas. Still. Even though I “retired” from retail nearly 15 years ago and my mom passed two years ago.
I wouldnt bother with it at all if it weren’t for my husband - who is a saint and a far better man than I likely deserve. Hubby had a horrible childhood - some years no tree and/or no presents. Dad was drunk and mom was working a grift.
So - I go thru the motions for him - trying to seem genuine in my enthusiasm. If you could see his delight with a beautifully decorated tree and lots of lights on the house - you’d understand.
Even so, I still hate Christmas!
Oh dear got to stop typing - !
Christmas isn’t what I remember, even 10 years ago. We had some money back then and I loved to decorate, even outside lights. We had at least 2 trees and sometimes 3. I loved to shop, wrap and cook.
Now, this is just another day to get through. Christmas ads are shoved in our faces from July. If you can’t buy your spouse a car or expensive jewelry or your kids the latest techno, there’s something wrong with you.
No, I don’t appreciate Christmas any longer. I miss the old days when it was fun.
But overall, the season sucks the life out of me. Disproportionately. That’s who I am in November and December. Take it or leave it.
Other people’s expectations have been wearing me down - since I was old enough to say my own name. The last 2 months of every year intensify that “ick.”
Ignoring expectations is not the same as eliminating expectations. But ignoring is all I have. And it’s challenging, at times.
Most of the folks in my life mean no harm with their expectations. They simply cannot fathom why anyone would feel the way I feel. (Um, because I do. Because I’m not you.)
Since my daughter was an LPN and later an RN, I haven't done a traditional Turkey dinner in years. I make Lasagna. If daughter is working Xmas and maybe late, it can be kept warm. Salad and bread round it out. Cookies for dessert.
I agree, we have commercialized Christmas too much. The lives they show on the commercials are not normal lives. So depression sets in.
When parents and Aunt were alive, Holidays were fun. Brothers and sister still around. My youngest brings it up how it just not fun anymore. And its not. Parents, Aunt and sister gone. Brother 8 hrs away. Other one doing his own thing. Just a quite day. Thinking about going away next year.
Or
Renting a house on the beach on the beautiful Oregon Coast - for the entire month of December till a little past New Years. This is a whole lot more likely than Paris - maybe next year. But probably not.
Where do you dream of spending Christmas?
And don't get me started on the drinking. I can't remember the last time I saw my one older sister when she wasn't just sh*t-faced. Staggering out t he door at the end of the night. She even needs help putting her shoes on.
It's all just sad!
I hate hearing the music till a few days before the day. There are a lot of the songs that I appreciate the music.
Since Mom died this April and my three sisters' horrible treatment of me resulted in my going no-contact, I plan on this Christmas for once being my way: quiet and relaxing and only doing I want.
Having said that, I'm glad I provided an outlet for some to get their Christmas frustrations out too.
I feel love in the air, I know there is a lot of commercialism but use that... to tell the Gospel who cares if when Jesus was born that is not what is going to save you or not save you the point is that He was born! All the heavenly hosts singing! WOW!!!
Yes family have their issues, yes people are two-faced. Heck I deal with that daily and I am not gonna let anyone get me down in the dumps! Alleluia Jesus is Born! Celebrate the coming of Christ and spread the word!
May God Bless you during this season!
hgn
But I'll try....................harder!!
Just do what you can to keep it simple. I've been there,...from fury at the chaos and greediness of it all....to a quiet appreciation of the solace of winter. Simple gifts to grandkids only (announced ahead of time in a letter of intentional simplification to my kids and parents)...and the switch to "the gift of time"... meals together, movie time or concerts together, outdoor hikes, volunteer time together,baked goodies to share, etc. Everyone agreed and it's been sane ever since. Oh yeah, I try to avoid any kind of store on the weekends during the shopping season.