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Get them out of the house for a long day out or a visit to your home, and send in a cleaning crew to do a deep clean and fumigation of their home. It's better to apologize than ask permission.
But if they are living with mold , animal feces , flies maggots and food all over , they either don’t have their faculties , or they can’t see it or both .
Tell them you aren’t coming over unless they let a cleaning crew in
That is, for them, a change.
Again, you are so correct that some people grow up in this and continue the legacy. Thanks for that input.
My suggestion is this take them on a day trip - Hire a cleaning crew to clean that nasty mess. If they don't see it happening they most likely will not realize it has been cleaned.
Once it is clean then you can get someone in there to clean it two or three times a week, just by picking this up picking that up. If you hire someone to come in do this: bring them in- introduce them as a friend - this is my friend Julie - accompany her a few times to get them use to the idea that this person is coming in then one day just say that Julie is staying and I'm leaving for an appointment - do that a couple of times then have Julie show up and visit with them cleaning here and there. It is a process but it seams that they are like children they will need more and more care. Take the bull by the horns and just do it rather they get mad or not. Ask yourself is it better for them to be mad at you for a bit or for them to be in an unhealthy environment?
However, I suspect there is going to be major damage here due to infestations, etc. This isn't a one-and-done I am thinking.
You may have physical capabilities lumped in with mental capabilities. It's possible to have one kind of capability but not the other. Start learning a lot more about dementia - looks to me like you have full-blown cases of it on your hands.
Or not. You can choose to walk away and let the chips fall where they may. After someone calls Adult Protective Services, social workers there with "capability" will set forces in motions to deal with your parents' "INcapability."
You're way behind the learning curve here with a good bit of denial added on. You may need help to wrap your head around this. An alternative to walking away is to find out what senior services are available in your area and engage with them to understand what's going on here. Good luck!
She has many videos you can watch on YouTube.
You will never be able to get them to allow you to do anything. They honestly believe there is nothing wrong with them and they're thinking. In other words, you will never be able to change their minds so stop trying or if you don't stop you're just gonna make yourself go into the grave. So, call authorities. APS. Yes , they're going to get upset , but they're going to get upset anyway. You know something has to be done. You're just going to have to do it! I'm in home health care and I've been doing this for 30 years. Their brain is broken so you can not reason with these people. Again... You will never be able to convince them of the condition of their house and the need to clean it. I wish you all the best. God bless you for trying. It is hard. One of the hardest things you will ever do.
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