By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I agree with others that you don't discuss it with her when she starts haranging you. You do what you feel willing and able to do. You can fend her off by distracting her or changing the subject. Take her for a drive to see the pretty Christmas lights locally. Have her decorate cookies or make chain garland or cut paper snow flakes. I hope you have a peaceful holiday together.
You don't convince her of anything; we never do.
You simply do it as you must do it and that is that.
Where did this new thing come from that we are responsible for our parents happiness and that old age has ANYTHING to do WHATSOEVER with happiness in general. Old age is about loss. It is about memory and trying to be as contented as you are able knowing your life is draining away. This isn't a happy time and I assure you of that as an 82 year old. And you have gone from DD to caregiver. Responsible for EVERYTHING and with no thanks for it.
This is simple. This will be what it must be for YOUR sake. It has nothing to do with her, her choice, her happiness, or really the onus and burden that Holidays and their "happy-all-the-time" burden puts upon half the populace every year.
I have two prelit tabletop trees , one 3 foot one in the family room which I put ornaments on , and a two foot prelit in the dining room that I leave bare .
Both were from Amazon , complete with lights on them and burlap around the base . Just plug it in
Order a meal you can reheat , put a movie on .
I agree, don't say anything to Mom. Just let her talk, first of all its not even Christmas yet. Don't stress yourself out.
Yeah, the price looks high but you don't have to do all the shopping or cooking.
Get a small pre lit tree and set that up.
For years I was the one that got the tree from the attic, I was the one that set it up, I was the one that decorated it, then I was the one that took all the decorations off, took apart the tree, packed back into the box and dragged it back to the attic.
After my husband started trying to eat the decorations cuz they looked like candy or fruits I said that's it no more.
Ya know I don't miss it. Although now I have no husband to eat the decorations I do have a cat that would try to climb it and a dog that would "christen" it! So I still don't set up a tree. I do minimal decorations and am happy with what I do.
Keep telling mom, Oh, I'll get to the decorations next week.
And do yourself a favor, for a present to yourself hire cleaning people to come in and do a cleaning that takes care of the cleaning aspect of your holiday.
Every year middle of January my mom has a huge set back. Because of all she did. This year that week Ill be on a plane , gone for ten days. My brothers are going to have to deal with moms after Christmas set back.
I've tried for 4 years to fix this , every year same darn thing. This year I throw the towel in , and what ever happens happens, but I'm not helping any more than I want to help. I've got my own things to do
It really makes Christmas stink!!!
Mom will tell me , I have no doctors appointment in January, I say I'm sure you will have lots after you get so worked up for Christmas, and she gives me a look, then come January and here we go again.
We use to get a fresh cut tree for Christmas. Now I use a 3 foot tree made out of Christmas colorful glass balls, very light weight (got it on sale after the holidays). I place the tree in a bay window. We use to buy the already "cooked dinners" from the grocery store (had to pre-order). Now it is whatever we feel like eating. Ok, I do get frozen holiday pies that one just cooks, and maybe a box of holiday cookies. I do have a can of pine tree smell :)
Christmas cards? Now I have the labels/addresses set up in my computer to print out. My handwriting isn't that great any more so the labels are helpful.