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As for caring for the dog, actually the last trip to the vet came with the news that she's neglected the dog to the point of abuse. His teeth were rotting out of his mouth and she spent $1000 to get most of them pulled. He is an old miniature doxie that also has seizures etc and vomits quite often... so the thought of trying to find another owner for an old ill dog does not look promising.
If the dog is clearly having problems, it may be time to euthanize the dog. If however the dog is being looked after and has no problems, it may cause behavior problems ( ever noticed how some family members give dolls to their relatives in nursing home - it calms them down)
If the dog is still is in good health, I would certainly call the Humane Society. There is a program called Seniors for Seniors that matches older dogs with senior still able to care for them
smegman, show me a dog who can haul 4 ton of mason sand and ill spend money on him too.lol
This is good for your MIL in a couple of ways. One since she can miss the dog but see proof of well-being this separation will be far easier to handle than the death. If she continues to decline you can spare her ever telling her that the dog has died and it might help her to continue to believe he's okay and be at peace about it. Pet death is wrenching for those who deeply love their animals - this way might spare her that. Either way though she'll need someone to talk to who respects and understands her feelings.
Alzheimers is NOT like cancer... there is no remission, only progressive deterioration and caregivers doing what they can. This site had one article that there is no wrong way of caregiving... Apparently my post is proof the article is baloney, or folks forgot that article.
Empathy in this situation? No... I've never had to get fulfillment for something lacking in my life in either terms of comfort or entertainment from an animal whether it is a dog, cat, snake, ferret, hampster or the like. They can be cute and funny, but I do not need to establish some emotional tie with it. Some do... I don't knock them for it. That is them and I am me. I have a wonderful husband and kids and other interests which keep me fully content.
Equally, when I look at all the posts on here... I can see folks are pretty inconsistent in their suggestions, advice etc... I also can see all their posts too.
We were just talking in our family about the animals we have had and lost - 10 of them over the years total! We actually did a sort of hospice care for a couple of them who were ill but not in pain and just seemed to want to be with us. A few made last trips to the vet with us when we really could not do more; we just lost one or our favorite old lady cats to a jaw tumor that invaded her eye... even after treating all infection, she could not eat and was wasting away, was fighting it but you could tell she felt awful. One of our big outdoor dogs just lay down in his favorite spot in the shed after having slowed down a bit for years with bad hips, then slowing down a bit more for maybe a week or so, and didn't get back up that time. He looked like he just made himself comfortable, and after he was gone, we realized he'd been happily eating about 2/3 of the food between him and the two we still have. So we could look back and feel like we gave some animals a good life, most of which could have just ended up euthanized in shelters or living much shorter lives out of the street. You know the animals don't worry so the way we do, and life may be good to them despite some infirmities...I remember my husband wondering about euthanasia versus amputation for our first cat who got a hind leg sarcoma, and to me it was obvious he'd be fine on three legs! He was - for at least 10 more years. So if the old doxie has had the dental work, and is just old, I'd say keep him around. Especially if he still plays catch, he's still getting something out of the deal.
The true definition of Shakespear's hypocrite: One who puts on a mask (comedy or tragedy) to give the impression of something they actually are not.
**** I think some forget that they don't know us personally, nor any of the history ... and let their mouth run off without their brain attached.****
I asked you what part of the country you lived in because of the cold. I clearly don't know you personally and that is why I asked the question. I am learning a bit about you and your demeanor from your response.
Fundamentalists, gays, cakes, religion - huh? I thought we were talking about a dog.
I wish you well, but I am done with this discussion.
You seem confident that your MIL's level of social interaction is actually improving now that her pet is not in the house. The animal is suffering. What's the hold up?
In terms of how to help your MIL adjust to the dog's absence, I'd suggest allowing her to be upset - I appreciate this isn't something you can empathise with, but patience is good enough (I don't mean to sound sniffy, truly - my brother gets exasperated about pet animals, too); explaining that poor Fido was very ill and his "doctor" said it was cruel to let him suffer (repeat as necessary, it will get tedious); and stressing what a good dog he was. And tell MIL's doctor to shut his trap unless he's got something kindly to say. My mother's 19 year old cat has just been given a reprieve by her vet (oh GOODIE - though actually she is a cute little thing and no trouble), but the above is the routine I was gearing up for until Monday, when the healing miracle was declared. Hope it helps.
The routine I can recommend for robust, rugby-playing 27 year old men whose dogs have to be put down is a day's compassionate leave to spend with the animal, the physical labour of digging a grave, a good hot supper and two pints of real ale. They stop crying after a few hours.
Which reminds me: would you have the kind of garden where perhaps a little flowering shrub that your MIL likes could be planted, in memoriam? It needn't be tacky, and the focal point might be useful.
Well, that wasn't my decision. That was my husband's and as he weighed her agitation over the big move etc... he felt that it would have doubled her anxiety on the 5 day drive, added even more sorrow and worry and been a potential safety issue as he had to drive one of the trucks while my daughter drove my grandmother and had never drove across country before. It was difficult enough as it was. So, the 'in a perfect world' reply of THIS should have happened... didn't.
You'll be interested, perhaps ironically amused, to know that the penalty you'd incur (you plural, not you yourself) on a charge of animal cruelty at this level would be... a ban on keeping domestic animals.
Yes, and I'm sure my MIL would have issues with being charged for what the vet already determined as her neglect to the point of abuse.
Are there any?
Given the pet allergies in your MIL's new home, the dog should never have been allowed to be part of the deal - it should have been rehomed during the move, MIL and dog going their separate ways.
I admit that that is an "I wouldn't start from here…" counsel that therefore doesn't get you any further forward. So. In your place I'd grit my teeth and take the dog to the vet to be euthanised, at the earliest opportunity. Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, and it'll solve everyone's problems (including the dog's). Your MIL will be upset, but she's been upset until now anyway - at least you'll have drawn the final line.
You'll be interested, perhaps ironically amused, to know that the penalty you'd incur (you plural, not you yourself) on a charge of animal cruelty at this level would be... a ban on keeping domestic animals. Not often the punishment fits the crime that well, is it?
--
I hope I do too, because I guess you are suggesting the other people in my home with pet allergies should suffer and are not worthy of moral care and consideration, and anthropomorphism puts the dog on a higher plane of moral care and consideration.
I really hope at least one of the above is incorrect. I appreciate that as far as you're concerned the dog is a nuisance, and that you don't claim to care for domestic animals in general, and I'm not one who thinks that only animal lovers deserve a place in heaven; but even given all that, do you not see what the impact of this change would be on the dog? As I say, I really hope I've got the wrong picture.
Over the last year and a half with the dog in the garage and not in the house, she has been more social with family and spend a good deal of time with her 4 year old great grandson...they like watching Sponge Bob together... she's still physically active and will play catch with him
He's in the garage, wears his doggie clothes, he has his bed and blankets and toys, food and water and the side door is open so he can go outside--not that I do not have to clean up the dog poo, piss and vomit since Alz MIL is oblivious to that as a daily chore. The state I am in is warm--moving here only 1 1/2 year ago; but for the peace of mind of the apparently fragile, he was in the house with us when we had a finished basement and lived in -40 weather. But there it was a separate part of the house and those in our family with pet allergies weren't exposed to the dog. I think some forget that they don't know us personally, nor any of the history ... and let their mouth run off without their brain attached. So... are people suggesting I should let other family members suffer their health issues with allergies and add their additional doctor's appts for them to our schedule?
RuK, I've got a "fume" that's been growing over the last hours: what the blazes did your mother's doctor think he was doing to help with that idiotic hint-hint remark? "You'd better get used to living without the dog…" meaning what, exactly?
I dunno. Hubbie takes her to the appts. and that is what he told me the doctor said to her. And I don't know why the doctor would say that to her. Even I said to hubbie, "He said that TO her?" And he said yes... so... I said... okay...and how did she take that.
The dog is 13 years old. As I said, he has seizures, vomits daily etc... And for those that missed it completely due to emo overload... I already replied to one level headed poster that it only takes a few seconds to call a shelter which clearly hubbie and I will consider, but when I think of all the dogs in shelters?
By the replies from pet enthusiasts, seems they have the same fundamentalist mentality as the religious who refuse to bake a cake for gays.