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If anyone is “sucking the life out of you”, you need to get away. Just because a parent gave birth to us, that does not mean that we owe our life to him or her. Parents chose to give birth. Not so with grown children.
I was in a similar extreme caregiving situation with my feisty mother back in 2012-2013 AND UNEMPLOYED AT AGE 56. THANK GOD I had some family to help my Mom into assisted living so I could get myself professionally diagnosed for my anxiety, see my doctor for my situation and get Trazadone meds to relax me, allowing me to seek new work.
All medications have side effects which destroy our health...some more slowly than others
When you are ready, check out ashwaghanda powder & Moringa powder...These are very rich in nutrition, build ongoing strength & steadiness of the nerves & blood. And have no side effects. And many side benefits.
Keep smiling, the river of life is constantly moving, and we with it
I can so relate to your situation. I have been living fulltime with my mother since covid hit. It has been extremely challenging. After months of extreme anxiety I finally found that taking time every morning to meditate (I particularly like the Calm app) and try to stop and do tapping when I find my 10 year old self responding to her latest accusations has really helped me to keep my anxiety under better control. I also walk away from difficult conversations that I know are not going to go anywhere but downhill and announce, "Oh, gee, it is time for my yoga". I just go in the next room shut the door and put on a youtube yoga video for 10-30 minutes. It makes all the difference and I can sure use the exercise too.
Another strategy that has helped me is that I put on quiet classical music on the TV most of the day. It helps keep my mother in a much more peaceful space and she has fewer episodes of anxiety so is less likely to come at me with more accusations.
I won't say it has been easy. It has been very, very hard because I am dealing with my own PTSD issues, but slowly I have found natural ways to reduce my reactivity to her and take care of myself. I make sure I take time for own activities everyday so I don't let myself become too resentful.
I am sending you my compassion, supportive feelings and hope that something in this helps a bit, even if it's just knowing you are not alone. Do take care. These are tough times.
Mary
I do believe many or most MDs who aren't into or aware of Eastern medicine practices will somewhat easily 'give a pill' to stop xxx, but not all MD are DRUG PUSHERS. You need to assess your own situation. MDs are not gods and most don't even study nutrition in school - or perhaps they do now. We, 'patients' need to take self-responsibility for prescribed meds.
In any case, I believe taking the edge off is important and REMEMBER, you can stop anytime [in a healthy way, perhaps not cold turkey.]
Try something out for a month or a few months and adjust accordingly.
Long ago I decided not to deal with menstral cramps - after years + years of horrible pain. A few years ago, I got on an anti-anxiety, low dose. It was so low that my friend (therapist) said it wasn't even a therapeutic dosage so I upped it a little more. I still have anxiety, but the edge is off and the terror waking up in the mornings is GONE.
There is always a trade off --- with so many side-effects of prescribed meds. I sort of hate taking any myself. I do my best with health practices, i.e. :
1. slow jogging or some outdoor exercise.
2. eat healthy 80% of the time, most of the time.
3. started journal writing - just 5 minutes a day. After two sittings, its already helped.
4. I'd recommend keeping a journal when / if you do start on meds and track how you are feeling, noting differences. In this process, you may become more aware of aspects of you you didn't know before which is a major plus.
5. Include plenty of positive experiences and self-pampering. I watch movies and play scrabble on my phone.
I THANK GOD + the UNIVERSE for anti-anxiety and anti-depressants and pain meds - when I need, I take responsibly. No self-judgment. This is SELF-CARE.
Coffee enemas and colonics were listed in the Textbook of clinical pharmacology and therapeutics for many years, all the way up to 1977 as a treatment for mental illness...from mild anxiety up to manic depressive disorder.