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ANd the 90 year old mother who says she is cold is cold! So stop torturing her. Unless the person has soiled their clothes, there is no reason ---except in perfectly trained consumer land---Why an elderly person or anyone else needs a daily bath
Unless
My mom won't get in the tub, too weak and afraid she'll fall, (ME TOO SO NO PROBLEM).
We give her a sponge bath daily. She's 90. The entire time she complains of being cold, (God knows the heat it on 90), but we continue on. After the bath, I rub her down with Aveno and vaseline to keep her skin moist and not dry. I put Cocoa Butter on her face, and Touch of Mink on her feet. I also rub sachet cream and spray a little cologne on her so she smells nice. They get accustomed to a schedule and we try to do it daily at the same time, usually in the morning after she has her breakfast.
Elderly get itchy just like us when we go without a bath.
Hope this helps.
If you don't have a drain for the water to go down or a bath chair, how about having him sit on the toilet with the seat cover down? Then put lots of towels on the floor to soak up the water that you pour on him to 'shower' him.
If that is difficult to do, then we're down to using baby wipes and/or No Rinse Body Wash and No Rinse Shampoo or the No Rinse Shampoo Cap.
To avoid sores, it's important that he changes his clothes (sweat, wet, etc...) daily. If it's wet, change it. While changing it, do a quick wipe down with the wipes. FYI, I've read here on this site that some caregivers bathe their parent/spouse a few body parts at a time. Example, today, they will clean his toes, feet, and legs. Tomorrow, they will do his arms and/or chest. The next day, his back. The next day, shampoo.
He has severely dry and itchy skin with patches of eczema. If he does not get those regular baths and them lotioned up afterwards, he'd scratch himself bloody.
Before we put him on a regular schedule, he either tried to wiggle himself out of getting a regular bath by claiming he already had bathed himself - which was often not true - or he would forget that he had a bath and would sponge bath again or insist that the caregiver give him another bath. Now that he has this schedule, it's easier for everybody, including him.
BTW, when I mention that he sponge bathes himself, that's an over statement. (I secretly watched him several times.) He would fill the sink with water, lather up a wash cloth, rub himself down with it and then barely rinse off the soap. In the end, that caused more skin issues.
Although he would tell us that he actually DID use the shower, I know this is not true. He had had 2 falls in the tub and that's when he stopped using it. My BIL decided that his dad could use a shower bench and they "recycled" my SIL's. (She is obese and was using an extra large bath bench, for a few months, after she had had knee replacements. Needless to say, the bench doesn't fit properly, but they insist on it anyway.) My FIL is still too scared and physically not able to use the shower on his own....
We've been sold that showering every day is a necessity. It's not. But it's a great way to use powders, lotions, shampoos, and body washes like crazy. Seniors aren't playing in mud puddles. They have very dry skin. Washing away the skin's natural oils every few days makes absolutely no sense.
Are you seeing dementia and not recognizing it as such?
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