By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Don’t waste your time thinking about his past relationship. Focus on him and comfort him as best as you can.
You can’t change the past. Yes, it may hurt. Make the memories that you have of you and your dad.
When dementia happens, I think that we lose the person we loved. When there has been a long long relationship of many years (spouse or children) shared love and shared losses and shared children and all that goes with it, we can sometimes somehow go on with the support of the deep roots formed of that long life. We become then not so much husband or wife, but caregiver. I have seen so much of heroism on Forum. But I have witnessed also human limitations, and just cannot judge another I don't know.
I am so sorry for all the grief you are witnessing, and the losses for your dad, by your description, are heartbreaking.
There are definitely 2 sides to every story. If dad was rude and arrogant AND has some level of dementia--that is a lot to handle. I'd be careful to lay the guilt and blame on this woman.
If she was caring for him and he was not able/willing to take care of her in return..maybe walking away was a better choice for her.
I have a SIL who always tells people she only has 'one foot in her marriage' as this is a 2nd marriage for both her and BIL. She is not a CG by nature and as BIL ages, we see her pull away more and more. Nobody would be surprised if she cut and ran. BIL's health is not great.
It's good that your dad has you. Just let this woman pass out of your lives and don't talk of her to your dad. You can't make things better for him, nor bring her back. Just love him and let go of the anger.