By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
So no, I will not be attending anymore functions involving them.
My condolences on the loss of your dad, and also on your husbands passing a year ago.
But maybe your family dynamic isn't as bad as I imagine, I'm basing my comments on families who have funeral fist fights at the church door.
I didn’t speak to one of my siblings at either of my parent’s funerals . When the second parent died , I did not attend the after funeral , family meal get together .
You could go and not stay the whole time .
Very sorry about your dad.🙏
Do what you feel is right, and I'd wait until it gets closer to Christmas to decide, for sure. You May feel different
Your mom is having a "do" here. I think the timing is poor, but that's up to her.
Why are you not asking HER what matters to HER here, because she's the important one, imho?
I would say "Mom, you're well aware of how I feel about the sibs? Right? Can I just ask you if there's some way it's OK for me not to attend with them, and for the two of us to make our own celebration of dad together? Are you OK with that? Because if you are not I understand that this celebration of his life is really about YOU and if you want me there I will be there with bells on and I will take Dr. Laura's advise and 'just be polite'. But if you really don't care, or would just as soon avoid any discomfort, I would love not to attend. What do you think?"
Option two, say you will attend, call and lie that you have covid.
This isn't about you really, or your beloved hubby, or your sibs. This is about your mom and what she needs to do to comfort herself. Let her guide you.
If you aren't comfortable with ASKING mom, I would help her prepare, I would attend, I would just be as polite as I could be to everyone, and I would leave slightly early. And I would literally die before I would cause dissention that would hurt your mom at that time. So if you cannot do this without that, then you cannot go. Start practicing now:
"It's SO good to see you" . Smile smile and walk away.
"What a lovely dress" . Smile smile walk away.
"I remember how much dad loved your lasagna". Smile smile smile
And on you go, butterfly at the ball, just buttering them up one side and down the other.
Have FUN with it. Imagine dad smiling. Laughing, Raising a glass to you.
Good luck, CzechChick. Omlouvám se.
You and your son should send a nice flower arrangement, or better still one of those delicious holiday luxury gift boxes that have the smoked sausages, the cheeses, crackers, etc... Those are always a nice thing to get. You shouldn't miss out on the holidays because your mother has poor timing or because your family members are inconsiderate and hurtful.
See All Answers