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When prepping it for sale, a question from the realtor came up. If one person buying it was 55+ but the spouse wasn't, what would the ruling be. I did ask, and they indicated they could be 'grandfathered' in. Not sure what would happen should the 55+ person pass away before the spouse hit 55... But, that would be on the buyers to check out and ensure, IMO.
Why they won't allow you to stay overnight to gather paperwork, documents, watch over the place, etc is baffling. How would that be any different than coming to stay with her for a short visit? Have you asked why? Could they not hear you out and grant you a brief stay, documented with an exit date? I should think if you are allowed to stay it should only take a few days to gather what you need.
Perhaps they think you are just prepping to move in - if they are unreasonable, I would ask for a copy of the signed contract (as POA they should grant this) and if there are questions, have an EC atty review it with you.
Look at the community regulations and see what exactly the rules are and if there is any way that you can get approval from the HOA or Board if this is a situation where she needs care. They may allow it on a temporary basis.
But if it is on a temporary basis you need to use the time to figure out a long term plan.
1. Will she stay there with a caregiver that can remain with her?
2. She could move out and into a Memory Care facility. (does she own or rent?)
I would imagine you could stay there while you are searching for documents and "cleaning" out items. But if management comes knocking maybe a tearful explanation might help hold them off a bit.
Given the current environment, where it is impossible to evict people, I understand the director being particularly careful.
I'm surprised the community doesn't have "guest suites" for residents' visiting families though - nothing like that available? If not, you'll just have to find the nearest hotel.