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When a doctor says that 24/7 care is needed it means she is no longer SAFE alone.
Either because they are not mobile, or in danger of falling when trying to walk.
Also, they need someone to manage medication, toileting or incontinence care.
My husband suffered a stroke which left him unable to walk or even sit up on his own, unable to speak clearly, unable to chew and swallow solid food, no use of right arm or leg, and doesn't know how to use the tv remote, or telephone, so he can not call anyone for help.
He needs 24 hour care. I stay home with him all day, every day.
I do occasionally leave for an hour or so to run an errand, do quick shopping and such only because there are things I need to do and I don't always have someone available to stay with him. I make sure he is comfortable, in his bed, with tv on, a thickened drink on the table next to him before I go. I also have a camera focused on him so I can look in on him from my phone, and talk to him.
For healthcare the only POA I trust is 5 WISHES which is legally accepted in 42 states and has been translated into 22 languages. There is also a pediatric form.
Why I like it? The 1st wish allows you to select 3 individuals and 2 alternates to form a team to aid with your health care issues with you or if you are unable to make the decision. The next wishes relate to how you wish to be treated during your health decision road. The final wish allows you to determine how you wish to have your memorial.
The language is very comforting and very legal. There are attorneys who pu-pu the notion of a team making the decisions but it is legal.
Aging with Dignity or google 5 Wishes. It is $5.00 for 1 but is definitely worth the investment for your loved one and yourself and family.
They do sell a specific insurance product for this very scenario, it's called LTC insurance.
I'd think NO. . . otherwise, why would she say that?
You must ask your MD to clarify anything and everything s/he says that you are not absolutely clear about / understand.
Gena / Touch Matters
On the other hand, the doctor did let dad go home from an assisted living facility, after a stroke, knowing that he lived alone, not ordering home health care for him, and not letting us know that he was even going home! We had to scramble to get someone there to look after him! Who told us?? The neighbor who picked him up from the facility and took him home, gave us a call. Geez.
24 hour care can be one of several different things: Three shifts of carers sitting by the bedside at home, 24 hours a day? A nursing home? AL with a bit of extra monitoring? A babycam, and a pressure alarm if the person wakes up and tries to get out of bed? They are all forms of 24 hour care.
For that matter, doctors differ in their suggestions, their understanding of the total situation at home, and their realism about finances. Saying ‘24 hour care’ is easier than doing it. It reminds me of another recent post where the doctor said that MIL ‘would not thrive’ in a NH – without considering whether the carer, husband or children would ‘thrive’ with MIL at home and the carer quitting her job, or even whether ANY elder ‘thrives' in a NH.
If you have doubts about the need for 24 hour care, I’d suggest that you look at all the options. Then go back to the doctor for a more detailed recommendation – or find another doctor who can give more useful advice.
So, I highly recommend, that you get a needs assessment from your local council on aging and decide from there.
Some doctors are complete and total idiots and don't use the sense a sugar ant has, it is up to us to advocate or get an advocate to ensure we are getting the appropriate care for the actual needs.
So is it a suggestion? I guess if you look at it from the perspective of can they they force you to do it - not unless something really bad happens and APS has to step in (and even then if she is "competent" she still gets to decide, unless she is Baker Act'd or something serious like that).
So sure - it's a suggestion. But it's not one I would ignore for very long - because it usually has a strong sense of urgency behind it.