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Is there any chance that instead of getting help for HER you could get help for yourself?
How much better might it be for you to have a housesitter for a day, to clean a bit, cook a bit, watch Mom if she needs help, so that you can get out. Or just a housekeeper one day, meals ordered in, something like that to help YOU.
You are correct. This is only going to get worse. At some point there may be other options such as in facility care, but for now you could sure use a bit of help yourself I would think. I am wishing you the best of luck.
She does need more social interaction so a Visiting Angel type who can help with a shower, shampoo and companionship would be perfect.
Start with having the aide come once a week to wash her hair. Do this for a few weeks with you there then have her start assisting with the bathing.
Tell your MIL that you must insist she accept this help because you can't help her with personal hygiene care but that you want her to be safe and comfortable.
Make her understand that no one is going to steal from her because you're going to be there keeping an eye on the homecare worker.
Once she gets used to whoever is hired you won't have to stay with her.
Speak to her doctor about ordering home help. My mother did home health a few times. It does make a difference.
Go ahead and get help for her. She will become acclimated to having someone else there to help and most likely appreciate it.
order from her primary. When my DH aunt first started using them they just assisted her with her bath. She was afraid of falling. The cna would change her bed linens while she bathed herself. She preferred a bath to a shower. The therapy helped her mobility issues. Mention that she is dizzy and that is usually sufficient to get her evaluated.
Having home health helped aunt for several years before she needed to add a daily aide to help her with her ADLs each morning. If your MIL doesn’t qualify at this time, you will have a better idea of when she will after their visit. The advantage plans may offer this service as well but I am not familiar with them. This is covered by Part B of original Medicare.
The CNAs are very good with gaining the trust of the elder to get a bath and shampoo. She was about the same age and stage as your MIL when she first got home health.
Hire someone who makes her feel like she is getting a spa treatment so it is fun and a happy, relaxing and comfortable time for her.
Obviously this is a difficult point of dignity/privacy and anyone in her position might feel vulnerable and strange.
Her concerns about stealing are slightly paranoid, but also in line with reality and current events. Don’t discount these concerns. Find some way to make her feel protected, such as buying her a small safe that she can keep wherever she chooses.
Let her be part of the interviewing and hiring process so she feels less of a loss of control.