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You are now a caregiver. You have lost the person you loved, who was your support (YOUR support) and helpmate. You are left with someone you don't know who is constantly hurting, and who has one thing left to cling on to. That being the perfect nonjudgemental love of his dog.
I am so sorry. How could this not hurt daily. But do in all that pain try to remember what Oliver Sacks said "They have an entire world. It just isn't YOUR world". And try to join him there as his friend and his caregiver. We, in a long relationship, pass through MANY MANY MANY versions of "love". This is one more.
Again, I am so sorry for your grief, and you've a right to it. But there is much of love in what you wrote us, as well.
I'm sorry you and so many people are losing loved ones to the horrible disease of Alzheimer's and dementia. Be sure to get respite care for hubby so you can get out of the house more and do some things you enjoy doing.
Best of luck to you.
Your husband can't help that he now has dementia, and I'm guessing that if he didn't that your life would be the way you wanted it to be.
But we don't get to pick what happens to us or our loved ones, but it is our choice to pick how we react to whatever happens to us or our loved ones. So the choice is yours.
I know it's hard....trust me I do. My late husband had a massive stroke(a year and a half after we were married)at the age of 48 and I was 36, leaving him paralyzed on his right side unable to walk, talk, read or write, and us not being able to make love ever again. He did learn to walk again with a brace on his leg, and could say a few words and short sentences, but never could read or write or use his right arm/hand again.
But despite it all I knew that I was in it for the long haul, as this was the man I loved and took my vows in front of God to. So we made the best of things and I know that my husband appreciated all that I did for him.
I too was his caregiver for 24 1/2 years of our 26 year marriage, and to say that it was challenging would be an understatement to say the least.
My husband had lot of health issues over the years and in the end he developed vascular dementia, and thankfully I was able to care for him at home up until his death at the age of 72.
And if given the chance I would do it all over again for the man I loved.
So if your feelings have changed and you no longer love the man you married and is now sick, only you can decide what to do next about that.
But I'm here to tell you that this too shall pass, and that you will come out in the end a much stronger, more compassionate, and empathetic person if you see it through to the end. But the choice is yours.