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Often though by the time it is diagnosed , the elderly is too far along to recognize there is anything wrong , they are stubborn , not easy to reason with . In these cases, don’t bother telling them . They will deny it , possibly get very angry and upset , only for them to forget you told them anyway . Then there is no point .
I never brought it up again. There was no point.
Good luck to you.
My FIL asked what the results of his cog test was. When he was told he flipped out , and proclaimed “ My mind is as sharp as ever and I’m independent “.
All we heard until the day he died was that he did not belong in assisted living , there was “ nothing wrong with him “. He was “ independent” . I hate the word “ independent “ now.
Me, I would just drop it, her brain is broken thus her ability to reason and make good decisions is gone.
A friend of mine was diagnosed and wanted to know every detail and what would help her to manage as her dementia progressed. She accepted it with grace.
My mother (99) who now rarely recognizes me, fluctuates in her mind from being a teen to old, has no idea the year nor town, asks for her parents, still insists she is fine. I tried explain that, just as our eyesight is worsening and we both wear glasses, her brain is no longer as reliable as it once was. She accused me of gaslighting her. Demanded to know who was paying me to make her think she was losing her mind. Our relationship took a hard hit.
Decide carefully whether or not there is any benefit to opening that can of worms.
If not and it is speculation a simple (not so simple) MME at the doctors office can start. The question is if there is a good possibility that the diagnosis is dementia would you want to put them through a series of tests that are possibly scary, they may have to be sedated for?
And if they are past the early/mid stage is there really any medication that will help slow the decline?
The real questions are:
Who can legally make decisions for them? Do you have POA? Can they make decisions now or has it passed the point where an attorney will allow them to sign legal documents. (If they can't you may have to go the Guardian route)
If there is a diagnosis of dementia, and even if there isn't where will they live if it becomes unsafe for them to live alone? ( the unsafe can be for any number of reasons not just dementia. )
If they already have a diagnosis if they can express their wishes get things going so legally you are able to make decisions when they can't.
If they are able to understand and express their wishes then talk about the What If's, if they do not understand and have lost capacity then there is no use talking about the What If's.
Nothing good can come of it in my/her situation. We can't change anything and I don't want her to be fearful or anxious. She has finally seemed to settle in board & care after so many weeks and months of crying and begging to "go home" and she truly seems comfortable now both physically and mentally. I just tell her she's doing okay and we all forget things sometimes. Many times she is very aware she is not thinking clearly and I reassure her she's doing really good for 91. When she has delusions I just go along with them. ("You went to the mall? Well, that's good that you got out of the house today.") If they were causing fear or anxiety, I'd employ a different tactic.
I don't know what stage your LO is with their dementia but if they're not in charge of their own care or financials anymore, I don't see a point in it.