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That, my dear lady, is a complete sentence.
First question is that you say your Dad was completely competent. Was he living with you? What was your understanding moving forward? Or was he in his own home.
Know that SNF is covered for at least 21 days especially after Covid. But in almost all cases in which patient is on medicare.
Let them know NOW, at once, that your father was self care, and that you will not be caring for him. That, if he requires care then he requires placement. This is much easier, esp in these times, for the Social Worker there to handle than for you. The important thing to tell them is that you are neither mentally nor physically able to accept him into your care; they will try EVERYTHING. I have been there as a nurse seeing it. They will tell you that they will get you help and together you will all make it work. They won't and and it won't work and then you are stuck, having no answer but an ER dump to get him back into care. It will be almost impossible for you to find.
Your Dad will require four negative tests (in most CA facilities, at least) to get into care; they know that. It is a pain for them and they want him in your home.
TOMORROW, ask to speak to the Social Worker. Tell her that you will not be accepting your father into (or BACK into) your home, and that he was self care, and you are not prepared mentally or physically to care for him. Tell them that he will require placement, and they will need to find placement for him, as you cannot go in "covid-19 times" to check out facilities. They will then ask you for his assets, and you should be ready, if you can, to tell them as approximately as you are able.
Good luck. You are going to have to STAND STRONG against them to accomplish this. It is no time to be a shrinking violet. The truth is that your Dad may never fully recover from this; many younger than him have been unable to, and there may still be complications of blood vessels, strokes, no lung capacity on the horizon.
I am so sorry this happened to your Dad, but do not allow them now to use you and make it clear it will not happen. They cannot do a discharge to someone not accepting a patient and they cannot do an "unsafe discharge".
Time to kick it into high gear tomorrow, and I am so very sorry your family is going through this.
Your choices are either learn how to do basic care and get over your reluctance to "clean up his mess" -- or straight to the nursing home he goes. I took care of my mom with end-stage Alzheimer's for decades and in the end I had to bathe, clean and even make certain she has a bowel movement a few times a week, which often involved enemas and lactulose. If you really love someone you do what you have to do.
If you can't, or won't--then you can't--then get him placed in a nursing home, and you better tell your father that. GET WITH A SOCIAL WORKER.
You weren't faced with doing this for your dad, so pull your rocks back until you walk in those shoes.
I joke right? But what if you were? What if there were no adult children?
Alvadeer is correct. They will try anything to 'close case' & move on to the next case. They are crazy busy I know. But Dad is in their care so the *duty of care* is theirs.
Tell them you are your Dad's advocate to enable him to receive the care he needs. But his care is beyond what you (as one person, or as one of three sibs) can do.
Stand firm, be polite & professional. Stay strong.
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