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We moved from Buffalo to Florida, downsizing from a hundred year old home to an open-ish plan condo.
We gave away furniture, my entire trove of teacher items, my grown children’s things, and on and on.
I am glad that my children do not have to deal with at least that much of our “stuff”. I continue to try and stay on top of things. If I don’t “love” something, I get rid of it.
I, like others here, do not want to live into extreme old age. I want to take what I’ve learned on this forum, and create a document that my family can reference.
After 25 yrs, my wife and I downsized from a 4 bedrm 2 story to an 1100 sq ft condo after living as empty nesters for a couple of years. After her death in 2018, I decided to put the condo up for sale. During my 22 yrs there I was very active in the condo assn but still felt lonely. What I was missing was the early morning coffee and conversations with my wife. What I was tired of were the too frequent fast foods, and making my own limited menu (although my chili is pretty good, one can't live on chili).
I upgraded the bathrooms, made some other changes and called the realtor. The “nice” thing was that I didn't have to get her OK for the changes, I did what I wanted. I came to the conclusion that independent living might be the answer. A chance for interaction with other residents, a morning coffee klatch, and 3 meals a day, among other amenities. I moved into this facility in Mar of 2020. Unfortunately, so did COVID. The place came to a screeching halt. No meals in the dining room (meals were delivered to each room), no activities, no visitors. Actually, it's sort of funny. It's starting to open up finally so it might work out after all. Anyway, I'm here to stay. I think you'll be happy with your decision to move also.
Thanks. That’s what I am leaning towards, a condo. I think independent living is nice too. COVID really changed lives everywhere! I am glad that your building is finally opening up again and you will be able to enjoy the amenities and neighbors. Best of luck to you in your new home.
I find the loss of a spouse or a child is the most difficult to endure. Losing parents is hard but it is the natural order. No parent wants to bury a child and losing a spouse is losing the ‘love’ of our life.
My mom has been on blood thinners from 2014 until the past couple of months. She had Covid in January, and while she wasn't terribly sick, now she has all sorts of weird bleeding issues she never had before, and they've had to take her off the thinners. Her hospice nurse expects her to have a stroke at some point, and I honestly can't help but wonder if she was meant to check out seven years ago rather than drag on to 92 years old just existing.
I have no interest in living to my 90s and hope I don't. I won't do a lot to ensure my heart keeps ticking just to say it is. I want quality, not quantity of life.
My brother is on blood thinners and it stresses him out. He has to be on them due to his health conditions but they definitely complicate matters.
Myself right now? Nope. I don't want those thinners either!
I'm also planning to do same. It's a little cloud of a dream yet.. but I have some nice sketchbooks to doodle in, the internet to surf for ideas. Taking steps on the practical stuff too like actually finding a place & contacting real estate agents.
Very happy to cheer you on! 😍
Maybe I am odd, I can’t bring myself to go into the room where my mom was sick for so long. It sits empty with the door closed.
I've also learned that I probably will never marry again, as I don't ever want to be a caregiver again. I loved my husband very much and was glad that I was able to care for him to the end, but no thank you, I don't want to play that game again. It's now my time to do what I want, if I want and when I want. Some may say that's selfish, but I believe I've earned it.
Best wishes in your downsizing quest NHWM. Time to simplify. I'm all about that. I hate clutter as well, and am grateful that my house is on the smaller side, and all on one level, so it's easy to keep clean and maintain.
Change while sometimes hard, is usually always for the best.
I told my kids the same thing!
My friend told me that if she ever said that she wanted to get married again, to shoot her! LOL I knew what she meant, like you she doesn’t ever want to go through losing a spouse again.
Yes! One floor is what I want too! I am at the point in my life that I want easy to care for!
I love new houses. I love going shopping for and decorating new houses. I just dread the packing and moving part.
I hope you find the perfect place for you and your hubby.
I do feel that we have learned from our prior experience as caregivers that there are many things that we want to change or do different from those we cared for.
I totally agree with MJ that quality of life is better than the quantity of time we live. I also feel that we can make choices that suits our needs/desires rather than taking meds that may prolong our lives but complicate issues. It is a tricky situation and has to be discussed thoroughly with a doctor. I know that after reaching a certain age, I would never even consider chemo for cancer or surgery of any kind.
I recommend people move about every 10 years or so -- it does wonders to keep the clutter down!
Once my mom no longer needs me, we'll be packing up and leaving California once and for all. We looked at various open houses and neighborhoods in Arizona last week when we were there, and my husband wants a BIGGER house again! I've got to shut that down pretty quickly.