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My guess is your mom knows what she is doing even through her dementia fog. She knows you are isolated and can't get away from her so she torments you for pleasure.
I'd get somebody to stop by now and then just to show her that you have other people on your side. Also try your county area on aging or human services as they may have some suggestions.
Lucky for you Spring is just around the corner. Here in NYC temperature is still hovering around the 30s, but trees are beginning to bud.
Here are some suggestions: (1) prioritize and manage your time accordingly, (2) increase the physical distance bet. you and your Mom while you're in the house, (3) stop taking s__t and respect yourself, and (4) seek emotional support from all those pets in the farm.
When I was growing up in the Amazon, the animals in our farm were my best friends. They understood and comforted me in times of grief. Come to think of it, they were a lot more evolved and civilized than my brothers, sisters, and extended family.
In a nutshell, make a list of what you have and what you need in terms of relieving burnout. Relief is right under your nose, but it's difficult to spot when you've someone in your household buzzing all over the place, flapping her gums, and getting on your nerves while you're trying to bring home the bacon.
So take a walk around the property, caress, and talk to the animals. Even if Mom wanders off, she can't go that far.
i hear ya and i am in your shoes. the burden of being on lock down and isolated is overwhelming. if you are like me, you cant find anyone willing to help or trust anyone who would do it if they were paid to be left alone w/your mom. So, heres all i can offer, my garden and my dogs as well as my work on the computer help me get through the long 36 hour days! Gardening has helped ALOT! go out, just be 'away' but yet still there. My dogs offer that unconditional love and acceptance that gives me that added feeling of being able to get through a few more hours. Reaching out to the world on my computer by connecting with facebook friends, writing a blog, looking at pictures friends post and interacting will help you feel less isolated. Helpful hint, friends are not the ones you want to complain to about your situation. They love you but no one wants to talk to someone who depresses them and reminds them what life might turn into for them. Use forums like this for the venting with people who understand. First and foremost, I spend quiet time with God several times a day, not questioning WHY I am in this situation but asking for the strength to continue and be a blessing to everyone. Hang in there but dont be afraid to ASK someone to help (other family) trust me, I know how it goes. The one who is the most responsible is the one who gets taken advantage of. Stand up for yourself and DEMAND help & relief...do it for yourself! Hugs!!
Wish we lived close to each other we could just sit and vent. I cry a lot and no one ever ask if they can help. Only how good he looks and how neat and clean I keep him. He is in the severe stage of AD. He cant hear well or see well and does not like change, tried getting out yesterday believe it or not the sun was shining her. But he gets confused at the store even though I get him to help me push the buggy. Guess I'm just in for the long haul. Talked to Bayada nursing they sit for 16 dollars an hour with a minumin of 2 hours. Who can afford that?
Any way I am praying for you and hope you will for me. This too will pass I have been told.
God Bless
I am just so thrilled with this site and the people here, I've got to put a link to it on my desktop so that I make more of a point to pop in here daily with my cup of coffee!
My mother can be verbally abusive during meals. She always loves to talk about my weight gain while we dine. LOL! I simply tell her to look in the mirror herself sometime. ;) I also have modified our diet to vegan for a few days in effort to eat healthier, so when she complains I tell her its for my fat a_ _!
Ha!
Note: My mom's health is fragile and all the medical problems cause her mental health anguish. I have home mental health coming out to see her every 2 weeks. It allows her to talk about her feelings and problems and she also is on an anti-depressant. Lately, she's turned even more negative and I've taken steps for greater mental health involvment in her care.