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Thank you all, after exam the case was dropped. I appreciate your comments.
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AlvaDeer Aug 2019
This is very good news, Lonely. I hope that you and your daughter will be able to mend your relationship. I think it may be a good idea if you appoint an uninterested fiduciary at this point to become your POA if you need help in future. That person would be an uninterested party and while it would be costly you have indicated that money is not a problem. You have said you already have financial advisors, and they would be able to give you some guidance in setting up a good contract with someone to manage your affairs if you no longer trust your daughter in these matters. Wishing you good luck going forward. So sorry you had to go through all this, and it had to be extremely upsetting.
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You must be immensely relieved, to say the least.

Only... now what?

The thing is, that person who you probably don't want to call any daughter of yours *at the moment* is still the same person who is the daughter you've loved since the day she was born. What could she do that would adequately explain her reasoning and start to repair the damage?

Life will go on, and you don't want the situation as is to be normal.
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AlvaDeer Aug 2019
The fact that Lonely and Old's daughter took over, filed for guardianship, and would not even let her pick out her own curtains honestly scares me for this woman's future. She has said several times that her own financial advisors have told her she could never really run out of money in a normal life expectancy, and this would indicate to me that there is some money involved here. I cannot conceivably begin to imagine what possessed a daughter to file for this guardianship when clearly there was no case for it, but were I the person I would now be turning over my management were it needed to a court appointed fiduciary, and would be in my lawyer's office to see how best I could protect myself from "family" who thinks they have my best interests to heart. This would be costly, there is no mistake, but I am thinking there is money here, and if so if worries me that someone tried to take lonely and old's autonomy from her.
Hard to judge these things from the little we get, but I am just saying at this point I would love my daughter like crazy, but would not have her in a position to manage my estate.
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Oh, I am so happy for you.

Great big hug!
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Fighting over money and who has control over it will never heal what is going on between you and your daughter. And son. No amount of money in the world as a matter of fact can help this situation. You don't say if your daughter has an income, or your son? Or what you want your daughter to actually do on your behalf. Nothing? leave you alone? You may have moved closer but I think you are still miles apart in your relationship.
You are relying on your daughter to some degree and you don't like it at all. I get that, it makes you angry as h*ll. So, the closest to you has to take the blame and the wrath. What would you do if you didn't have a daughter or son? Not much said about him.
About the dollar item, she said you didn't need it? Did you already have it and didn't remember? If she is treating you very poorly, you should speak to someone about that. But there are two sides to every story, and pretty sure there is way more to this one.
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TXGirl82 Aug 2019
"You are relying on your daughter to some degree and you don't like it at all. I get that, it makes you angry as h*ll. So, the closest to you has to take the blame and the wrath."

I don't think the daughter is a victim here. If @lonelyandold is relying on her for too much, the daughter should consider finding a way, perhaps APART FROM SEEKING LEGAL GUARDIANSHIP, to set boundaries and make the situation tolerable.

Depriving an autonomous adult of her liberty is a very serious matter, and I am thankful to live in a time and place in which it is a difficult thing to do.

This is a hard situation, to be sure, and my heart aches for the family.
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You sound very lucid and with it in your letter. That will work in your favor. A social worker will interview you as part of the guardianship procedure and must submit his/her findings to the court. If you are sharp and not displaying dementia, your daughter should be unable to obtain guardianship.
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AlvaDeer Aug 2019
She has already won. The case was dropped. See her comments below.
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Request a competency hearing. If your daughter is assuming guardianship of your financial affairs and of you based on incompetence, then let her prove it. A doctor has to make that determination, is she one?
I am sorry your sense of independence is being infringed upon by your own loved one. Sometimes, we as children want to assume the role of parents without first discussing the parents actual needs.
You are still the parent no matter how old the child is, you have a say so unless deemed incompetent.
You seem to be still sharp in mind, don;t let anyone count you out just yet.
Talk to your medical doctor, this ought to start the process.

Our seniors are wells of wisdom for our younger generation. God bless you!
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worriedinCali Sep 2019
The OP has already updated us, she won.
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So happy for you that this was dismissed!

In addition to making changes to POAs, wills, etc, I would ask your own attorney about the court costs. If YOUR funds were used for all the costs, you may be able to recoup them. It is likely based on state laws, but your profile doesn't list a state, so you need to seek legal advice. Here's what I found online:

"If the judge creates a guardianship, the fees can be paid out of the ward’s estate. However, if the court does not appoint a guardian or finds that the application was filed in bad faith, the applicant may be denied reimbursement for the expenses he or she incurred in filing."

So, if your assets were used, I would certainly look into getting them back! Also, if you can recoup the assets, please let us know. Sometimes this question comes up and it would be useful to be able to advise others in the future if they are thinking about filing for guardianship, but are on 'shaky' grounds. It can be costly if one loses! I would hope ALL states have this provision, to discourage frivolous filings. If people are aware that it might cost them a pretty penny unless they have a clear cut case, they might think twice before proceeding!
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We often hear about scams and how clever they are on here. This post has a lot of responses, some giving quite a lot of personal history and information. Behind each answer is a profile - if you filled one in. I have read just about every post and every reply to this OP and I am left concerned. Not for the OP nor for the daughter, but for those who have answered giving of their own circumstances. I find the OPs posts inconsistent with her actions, totally lucid but not able to tell daughter to take a hike, get a taxi, get on with her life, buy her own curtains, but able to move house, hire a detective, check with FBI having decided person she has been lending money to for some time may be scamming her, have more than one financial adviser and plenty of money. These inconsistencies in the narrative I am sorry to say are to me signs that this thread MAY not be genuine but a way to get information from the caring people on this group. I hope that I am wrong, but personally the idea that this forum could be trolled against those who are so caring and give so much to their LO, for some scam reason means I no longer wish to be linked with it. Keep safe EVERYONE.
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AT1234 Oct 2019
Thought the same- AFTER I too, posted!
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The kids can be the worst when it comes to fiscal exploitation and attitude.
Protect yourself, protect your assets. Network for resources you feel in your gut you can trust. I hope you have a best friend, or another relative you trust. So sorry you are being pressed... and you are definitely not alone in spirit with this nasty issue.
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