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But if and when he got up at 3:00 a.m. to pee and he had already soaked through everything, pj's, pads, blanket and the like, I would immediately throw everything in the wash. Yes even at 3:00 a.m.
And I have to say that my house never smelled like pee or a nursing home.
Even the EMT's who had to come on a regular basis for a while to pick my husband off the floor after he'd fallen, always commented how good my house always smelled. Now I did and still do use Glade plug-ins to keep my house smelling fresh and good.
And even when my husband became bedridden the last 22 months of his life and the hospice aides were only coming twice a week to give him a bed bath, and my hired aide who came in the mornings to put him on the bedside commode to poop right there in our living room, my house never smelled. After putting about 6 inches of water in the bedside commode, I would put several squirts of Poo-Pourri in the water and never had an issue with my living room or house smelling like poop.
So long story short, you may want to try throwing your spouses pee/poop soaked clothes and bedding immediately in the wash after they soil them even if it's at 3:00 a.m.
And perhaps having a bedside commode right next to their side of the bed so they don't have to travel far, might be helpful as well.
I know that the incontinence issue can be a deal breaker for some, and it's ok if it is for you as well.
And if that is the case, you may want to start looking into the appropriate facility to place them in.
I wish you the very best as you try and get this all figured out for the both of you.
Yes, the soiled diapers go out immediately, but NOT to my garbage can in the garage. That causes the whole garage to stink, and the smell will come in to the house every time you open the door from the house to garage.
Instead, I have a plastic garbage can out in my back yard to dispose of soiled diapers. Then, on garbage day I haul it all to the big garbage can that goes out to the street for pick up. It will be heavy, so I take a few trips.
The smells will linger in anything that is in proximity to the soiled diaper; the sheets, blanket, pants, etc. I do laundry every day. Usually 2 to 3 loads.
And using about a quarter cup of cleaning vinegar in the laundry will help to neutralize odors. Some items I need to wash multiple times to get the smell out.
Diapers should be changed at least 3 times daily, if not more often. Get a good brand of super absorbent diapers. And thoroughly wash their private parts - I do this first thing in the morning - with warm soap and water, using disposable wipes.
I buy washable underpads 30 x 36 inches. These go on his recliner, and on his hospital bed. Double them up, so you can remove the top wet one, and still have a clean dry pad underneath. Even though have a water-resistant backing, in time wetness will soak through, so having a backup underneath is helpful to keep the bed dry. There are times when the underpad becomes so soiled, I ball it up and throw it away. It simply won't be worth the time, and the water and electric usage needed to try and wash it. I go through about a dozen of these a year.
And consider getting two twin beds instead of a shared bed. There are hospital bed mattresses that are essentially a foam pad covered in a waterproof covering.
I only use a fitted sheet on the mattress, then a blanket on top. I have a dozen blankets, as those get washed daily too. Try large throw blankets, and twin size blankets. Something not too bulky so its easier to wash and fold. I have a whole cabinet now in the bedroom to hold the blankets.
Why is the person using the toilet? If they are incontinent, they can be in a diaper full time. That might be easier (?) than worrying about the mess around the toilet.
Also, buy disposable underpads. I like to use one on top of the washable underpad, especially when I anticipate a bowel movement. Actually, two disposables when changing a poopy diaper, again, washing thoroughly with warm soap and water, to get in all the nooks and crannies, the disposable pad will be dirty and soaked. Roll it up under the patient, and dispose of it, then you still have a clean dry pad to finish cleaning as needed.
Open the windows from time to time to air out the house.
https://www.amazon.com/Enzyme-Laundry-Booster-Odor-Remover/dp/B0CJH9DRM6/ref=asc_df_B0CJH9DRM6/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693802909430&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8581728974025081146&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9014051&hvtargid=pla-2291061177969&psc=1&mcid=9efb299de6df3482a871d58a8dc1ac87
Personal care homes are better equipped for caretaking since they have house keeping and handle large laundry amounts of laundry.
Or see if there is a janitoral supply store near you. They have everything.
and order a black light from Amazon because I suspect things are leaking out and on to the floor and possibly soaking in.
There are also enzyme type washing detergent that really eat up biological things.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Cleaning+products+for+human+urine&rh=p_72%3A2661618011&dc&crid=15YACCRG6AUW1&qid=1728933021&rnid=2661617011&sprefix=cleaning+products+for+human+urine%2Caps%2C330&ref=sr_nr_p_72_1&ds=v1%3A0OwbSFl1SKTIrJ2DFLwTlNeFOQkH3SNB6VXbQGpUBFE
Above is a link to the highest rated urine odor remover products on the market currently.
The following is a link to Medline Extrasorb chuck pads which you lay down on furniture and on your husbands bed.
https://www.amazon.com/Medline-EXTSB3036A350-Extrasorbs-Disposable-DryPads/dp/B00BL6FUX4/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?crid=50X7OMNVWEEE&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.WRFx4xqz8dmdISzg68HDLbuV4zLQl51LhgnEzCokvIMh3Q0_B0M8fH59nXGdh_nnPM_oNJZuaTOkUaP9hW9gjD_kZYjJ3e-nz4qSygCSRsWIaGwfj4CmoePOrlLTMrx9LKqerP_xFjnS7x-Y8t1PTfEiDtmoAughk2ZmSjsUmx5Ps-fcN73KWUWd8cnyrZHv9Q6BwzwTM7kOe29dsEDvMCgDgIhhP0__dGRLQXv4v3QBxizwIidNUvnt7qBG_XaIEcqVhV0buryG1Fe_P53pMVktuoo3-l70uk-fp3IwcAQ.quP0Y5vanGXNLSeveg8iZkQH04Repi2J4viEuXsEkuQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=medline+ultrasorbs+bed+pads&qid=1728933380&rdc=1&sprefix=Medline+%2Caps%2C250&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1
Also, use vinegar and Oxi Clean Odor Blasters in your laundry washes each time.
An Ionic Air Purifier is particularly good at removing odors in a room. Imo, as it EMITS a bit of an ozone odor itself, not unpleasant. Many different models are available on Amazon, of course.
I would personally move into another bedroom to sleep in peace if this were me, because I have a very strong sense of smell. Or at least sleep in a different bed in the same room so you're not directly exposed to urine or feces. Caregiving is hard enough w/o that thrown in! You need restful sleep, my friend. My DH has sleep apnea and RLS so he moved into the spare room years ago. It has nothing to do with love, but with quality sleep in older age. I'd have been fine moving to the spare bedroom myself, it's beautiful, he just chose to move himself.
If you hit this issue on ALL fronts with these suggestions, you should be rid of the odors permanently and hopefully.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
I am so sorry. I wish you the best of luck. You aren't alone in this problem.
id say better than bleach
we use a nappy bin to contain disposables
don’t forces to wear rubber gloves and to watch if your floorings delicate
Amazon do large containers of cleaning vinegar
they recommend using it to clean pet beds for smells as well
also if you add vinegar to wash it softens towels without any lasting smells
good luck
Baking soda put in the washing machine with normal detergent, use Vinegar as a softener through a dispenser. Combo works wonders on the cloth items.
Both my parent are incontinent - have disposable underwear and the caregivers do a fantastic job of keeping the old urine smell out of the house.
We use reusable underpads and wash immediately. (Lots of wash every day, but less expensive and more environmentally friendly than disposables.)
I realize this will not solve your major problems but it might help with the exterior garbage. I live in SC where the heat and humidity help bugs thrive so this is my small solution. I literally just pour some right into the garbage can and often in the trash bag before I place it. It does at least really cut down on the attraction from bugs as well as the odors.
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