By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Like NYDaughterinLaw asked, who are these "unsuspecting" people that he "traps" with his stories, when he's not leaving the house? Or is it just you that he is driving crazy with them? And are they true stories, or made up ones because of his Alzheimer's?
Perhaps you need to educate yourself more on Alzheimer's/dementia, so you can better understand why he does what he does. Teepa Snow has some great videos on YouTube, that are very helpful, along with the book The 36 Hour Day, which is a great resource as well.
And there will come a day when he won't be able to share his stories, and you will wish he could.
Then when he starts rambling on to people, tell him not to that he has to save it for the book.
Maybe that will give him a sense of importance and make him feel like many people will want to read about his stories. It's worth a shot.
Every attempt I made to try to get him to actually answer their questions failed.
The people he “traps” are at church, at the grocery store, people who come in for repairs, etc and friends and relatives that come to visit. Most understand but don’t want to be rude or insensitive while he rambles on.
I did encourage him to write “his story” and even suggested he make a voice recording to no avail. He doesn’t tell me stories - only other people.
If she ever gets dementia, it will probably get worse (unless she can't remember all the details--perhaps she'll embellish what she remembers, and fabricate the rest!).
The person I am with has Alzheimer's
Please be patient
Thank you
Hand one out to the person DH is rambling on with. Here is a link to purchase these cards:
https://www.alzstore.com/please-be-patient-alzheimers-cards-p/0187.htm
Good luck!
You said Mom suffered from ALZ so you are probably aware that his ALZ is probably worsening. That trying to reason with him will have no effect. That he is becoming more self-centered. I believe they become like children. Small children are self-centered. We as parents teach them not to be. But someone suffering from a Dementia cannot be taught or trained. Their short-term memory loss prevents that.
Thank you again forum members!
Most often, the only time a person with ALZ is able to hear themselves make any sense and hear themselves string words together without effort is when they are telling of something out of their long-term past.
God love him, let him talk.
This isn't just listening to a long winded friend telling a story; it is dysfunctional brain chemistry.
This person is exhausted / overwhelmed / doesn't want to be 'impolite' - she needs to set limits for her own sanity. Otherwise, she will burnout as so many do who do not know how to set limits and re-adjust their thinking of self-care vs being impolite, guilt ridden, overwhelmed.
It is a learning curve.
Say you have something to do and will come back later.
It is NOT IMPOLITE. He cannot help it and you need to set boundaries.
(I experienced this with a friend-he'd go into movie story lines.). While he didn't have dementia, I had to tell him I don't have the attention span to listen without periods and paragraphs.
He isn't trapping people. He can't 'do' otherwise and it is up to the people involved to interrupt this behavior. So what, he glares at you? Do not be intimated by changing brain chemistry. Just be okay with feeling uncomfortable. Do you give your personal power away to a brain that doesn't know what its doing.
Gena / Touch Matters
If you are tired of hearing endless stories for hours on end, walk away. As for strangers, I suppose that it is somewhat embarrassing. It probably bothers you more than them. They will listen if they choose to or walk away if not. Let them decide.
I know a woman that does this to people everywhere she goes. Believe it or not, some people carry on a conversation with her. Others think she’s crazy and simply walk away. She has always been like your husband and she doesn’t have Alzheimer’s disease. She is lonely. She is never satisfied with anything. She is totally misguided. I limit my time around her because she drives me crazy. I am never rude to her but I nip it in the bud. She’s extremely negative and it stresses me out. Misery loves company and I refuse to be her company.
Have you thought about placing your husband in a facility? Would he go?