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There is a ton of stuff on just how Alzheimer's is diagnosed, Betsy.
Basically, of all the dementia that will NOT show up on MRI it is the worst. The "tangles " they can see in late Alzheimer's are diagnosed well into the disease, and the brain will LOOK NORMAL for many years. Some dementias show a loss of grey or white matter or small strokes or or or or. But Alzheimer's is notorious for being best and most surely diagnosed for CERTAIN only after death.
This means that testing, cognitive, is done, and it is very "good" as it happens in showing just who might suffer.
Dementia's often do not get passed down with any certain tendencies (Lewy's doesn't seem to) but Alzheimer's does tend to pass down generationally occasionally.
There are a lot of good sites (Cleveland Clinic is one) to discuss "diagnosing Alzheimer's.
I would arrange a yearly exam and I would email of call office of suspicions. Your MD will take it from there for basic testing and for referral.
Some things you describe sound like Lewy's. It would definitely figure in a visual hallucination like the live cats on sweater. My brother's Lewy's always manifest with being triggered by patterns, wallpapers, rugs, sweaters. They would go "living". His hallucinations were worse at night.
Please do get to the MD now. It helps to know what you are dealing with. I am so sorry, but the fear is worse than the knowing which at least can ground you in ways of trying to deal with early stages.
I hope you will update us.
While you await cognitive testing or an appointment with his primary care doc, jot down everything you notice on a calendar. Keeping track of the rate symptoms or behaviors develop and how often odd things happen will help with diagnosis. Diagnosis is important because different dementias or different physical problems that masquerade as dementia are treated in different ways.
Good notes will also help you keep your head when things your husband does are scary and unbelievable. Sometimes it may be hard to believe that your husband isn’t doing weird things on purpose just to freak you out, like the time my husband whispered in my ear, “let’s ask her if she’ll make us some popcorn”. Well, I’m the only ‘she’ in this house and also the only person who makes popcorn! You can bet this went on my calendar!
Most of all, try not to ‘pre-awfulize’. Yes, I made up that word. But I find if I extrapolate my fear into the future I have a much harder time doing what needs to be done about the situation right now.