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Indeed I do have a deep faith in God and trust that neither I nor my dad walk this road alone. Then there is also my beloved mom, who has been in heaven for 16 years now and is surely the equivalent of the mayor up there. It brings me comfort to imagine her beautiful smile and her arms stretched wide, saying to Dad "I've been missing you!" as she envelopes him in a hug. She used to say and do the very same with me whenever I would come home to visit.
On repeat: we are all just walking each other home. ❤️🩹
yes, I went through this last month. It is so difficult . It is so hard.
By the way… you know, they know, it’s okay.. death is okay..
You may give him a lil extra dose if need be to calm him.., you are on hospice..he needs to calm down. You tell him you love him. Thank him for everything.
Wishing you peace as you continue on this difficult journey of caregiving.
Please know that you are doing your very best. Speak to the nurse about all of your concerns. I hope that she will be able to help you find ways to make this easier for you and your father.
It’s terribly hard to be in this situation. We are here for you. Reach out to the forum whenever you need support.
There ARE alternative drugs.
I called the hospice people as I was sleep exhausted and at the end of my strength and wits. The triage nurse arrived and immediately called for transport and took him to their Inpatient facility.
They did their best to use Haldol to help him with the agitation. He was at the facility for 8 days as they worked to keep him free of pain and agitation. He died peacefully with me at his side talking to him and loving him. His last agitation episode had been a bad one and occurred just 48 hours before he died.
The brain mets were causing his brain to malfunction, his organs were being shut down from neurological failure due to the brain mets.
The hospice people kept assuring me that this was nothing new to them. They often work with cancer patients dying from brain mets. Keeping him safe required a team of 4-5 people when the brain mets caused the severe flare ups.
Please don't take your dad's words or actions personally. He just needs medication help as his situation is beyond his control. Best to you.
Movies, after all, comfort that they are, don't do much to help us face the realities of life.
If you ultimately cannot manage care at home you will have to let hospice know.
If they cannot come up with a way to manage it then your dad may need transfer to a facility that can medicate him sufficiently.
Meanwhile, as you said, it makes no sense arguing any of this and other to keep repeating "I love you Dad; I am trying to help you the best I can", there is little to say.
I am so sorry. This may not be managable at home, and if it isn't you will need Hospice to go to bat for you with their social worker to find some sort of placement or some way to medicate.