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I took the leap today after talking to the physical therapist and social worker at the rehab my father is in. I discussed it with him and he agrees it's the only solution - with sadness. I was told today that he will only be able to care for himself when he returns, and thereafter.
She is much better off there, but, yes, it's very hard to do.
She is happy some days--extremly sad others.
I don't think it gets easier, but I do know that I am more relaxed about her safety and care.
Even with dementia, they make friends and the NH that she is in has many activities.
My Mom also is sweet most of the time and when she isn't, it comes as a shock to me.
She was moved to a private room because of violence towards her room-mate, so be prepared for actions that you never seen before.
I hate this path were on, but really can't do much about it. Good luck to you and know changes like I mentioned will take place no matter where she lives,the staff at the NH are trained to deal with it, I'm not.
And if your mom doesn't get along with the roommate they give her, ask for another room. I brought a platter of cookies from Albertsons every week for the people that took care of my mother-in-law. They knew me by name, and I believe they were more attentive to her while she was there. I know that working at a nursing home is a thankless job, and those cookies were much appreciated. Also, I volunteered to give her a shower when I came and visited. They were swamped, and do a rush job since there's so many patients to shower. She and I had a good laugh over that, let me tell you.
(She was there for a few months getting over a broken hip)
Also, after awhile I got her into my car and took her for a ride and out to ice cream. So being in a nursing home isn't the end of the world, there's lots of things you can still do with your mother. It's not a prison, but it is an adjustment, just like everything else in life.