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I don't see you having a free ride here at all, but stuck in an extremely dysfunctional family dynamic where your father committed suicide to get you to stay with mom? That's #1 on the list of over the top things I've heard since I joined A.C. in 2016.
Tell your grossly misinformed sister to move in with mother and pay $400 a month for the privilege, that you've had all you can stand and you're leaving. Her insistence on YOU paying room and board was the last straw, when you should be GETTING paid!
I don't know why you've stayed this long when there are many other options available for your mother's care.
My condolences on the loss of your father, especially under such circumstances. Please move on with your life now. Best of luck to you.
Please take care of yourself and prep to leave. I'm sorry about your dad, but don't let his guilt tripping keep you prisoner to a situation that will not work out to your benefit. It sounds like a terrible case of them abusing you emotionally and using emotional blackmail to keep you in place. This is trauma, and it sounds like it is time for you to find a good trauma specialist.
Your father was a sick man, and you are not the cause of him commiting suicide. He decided to do this on his own as a form of punishment. He had issues all along, and you preparing to leave was not a reason for him to kill himself. People have free will.
Free so-called room and board comes at a price. You are not living there free. You are taking care of your mother.
Your mother remains in her home and your sisters’ lives remain uninterrupted because you have given up your own life to servitude .
You are being taken advantage of .
Take your life back , move out , get a job .
Mom goes to a facility . I hope someone has POA to make that happen.
Do you not believe that that you deserve better? Well I'm here to tell you that you do.
Caring for a parent who is abusive and a narcissist and showing signs of dementia isn't worth all the money in the world or giving up ones life for.
So put on your big girl panties, and tell your mom and sisters that you're moving out by the end of August and that they'll have to figure out what to do next as far as moms care goes, but it won't be including you.
You can do this, and you'll be much happier when you get out from under all this dysfunction.
Second, does your sister hold POA over your mother? If she does, that puts you in an unfavorable position. If she doesn't, I strongly suggest you get it or prevent her from getting it, because when the time comes that mom needs to go into a NH or if she passes, in all likelihood, you will be left out in the cold and scrambling.
If the answer to those 2 is Yes, I would advise you to move. You are being taken advantage of and sacrificing your future. If your sisters don't respect the work you are doing and if mom is unappreciative, then it is in your best interests to leave. Even if it would be hard for you financially, if there is a path for you to go, I suggest you take it.
Edit:
I see you posted you do have an income and your sister is POA. I urge you to leave. With your sister holding the cards you are in a bad situation.
Not only does your sisters not check on you to make sure you can handle the stress of caregiving, they won't even pay you. That's BS.
I've came to the realization that my brother doesn't care a bit about my mom or me.
No I wouldn't pay $400 a month to live with your mother. She should be thanking you for doing it and you should be well compensated for the care you are giving and the sacrifice you are making.
I would leave now. I guess your sisters will need to make time for mom.
You have a job which is a huge plus. It is time to move on.
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