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https://www.agingcare.com/questions/suspect-elder-abuse-of-mother-in-nursing-home-198889.htm?cpage=3
And please do as Pam and MANY others have urged you - engage the services of an attorney to sort out the abuse, Medicaid issues with nursing home in Virginia, new issues with establishing residency and Medicaid eligibility in Indiana, and getting banks to accept your brother's financial POA and how to set up the default on loans, etc.
For the bankruptcy this is another ball of wax. The POA documentation, if written properly, will state what the powers of the POA are...some have unlimited power, some are restricted to paying on existing debt/bills and do not allow for things like bankruptcy, selling property, etc. You would need to read the documentation carefully to see what rights the POA holds in this case.
Angel
Son (now PoA) has been told by bank he cannot stop the payments no matter what. We would be quite happy for the bank to take the house. But the mortgage is about 10 to 15k more than tax and resale value of house. The mortgage company is quite happy to keep taking those payments. As to the high interest loan it is being taken out via a Western Union electronic transfer to USAA bank. We have pleaded with them trying to explain how mom was pressured by drug addicts to take the loan, that she was elderly and vulnerable and they should never have agreed to the loan, which is true, all to no avail.
We are planning move mom to my younger brother's house in Indiana soon and he wants to apply for medical and finacial guardianship, so he can off load the money pit house and dispell all her debt. But this takes months. And that will interfere with applying for medicaid and getting some carer help in.
The big problem i think is 3 different people (me in England, my son and hour and half away from Mom in Virginia, and my brother in Indiana).
Brother (medical PoA) works 8 to 10 hours a day and tops that with getting the house ready for Mom. His wife's day is full with appointments for the 2 young kids (druggie niece's kids) they legally adopted. These kids have some mild emotional development issues from being in foster care for 2 years. The plan pre stroke was that Mom would be with those great grand babies who she adores. She recognised them instantly shortly after her stroke. And the older remembered her GG. So this move will be very good for all, especially with the help of my brother's 2 adult kids who live in the same town.
My son (the financial PoA) works 8+ hours as well as work his own buy and resell business which takes his evening and weekends.
I am in England and helping my husband with his parents (hour and half drive away). Mum is pretty far gone with dementia and Dad is 97, has prosthetic leg, is very frail and recently bed ridden. Since before Christmas I have been dealing with all of the stuff Mum squirreled away in cupboards and drawers, Washing, ironing and repairing all of their clothes, towels, bedding and Dad's stumps socks because Dad did not know how to do laundry. Mum was hiding soiled clothes and Dad was using fabric softener as laundry soap. Broke our washing machine doing all this. I had to wash every piece of cutlery and crockery and clear the out of date food from cupboards. I've been shopping online for someone to fix their 3 piece suite as all the springs are sagging and the furniture is too low for them to safely rise from. Husband replaced the nasty carpet tiles in their bathroom with non slip vynil while I made them lunch and entertained them. Husband has been doing all the shopping, financial stuff, contacting social services, getting 24/7 care in (Dad kept sending them away). All the stress is not good for my autoimmune conditions. I am exhausted. So exhasted and busy that I forgot the anniversary of my daughter's death yesterday. So now I have that added guilt.
Old people, much as I cherish them, are making me old before my time. My only consolation is knowing that my immune system will kill me before I become a burden to my lovely husband.
Okay. Now my rant is over. Terribly sorry about that. It's been building for a while.
I don't like asking that question as it evidently makes her sad. She raised my niece. Though my sister was only ablock away, niece stayed at grandma's most of the time since infancy. She started falling apart in highschool. Many do in that small industrial town. I almost did, my sister did, 2 brothers did (but they have recovered themselves), many people I knew in school did regardless of socioeconomic status. It was and is a chronic problem and the town is toxic, which is why the 2 brothers will never move back to the area.
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