Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing

66 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2 3
The sadest part of being a care giver is the lack of help from family members. No calls no visuts with exception of Christmas. A brother and his wife live 1 hour 45 minutes away from their mom and constantly say they wish they could do more but can’t due to church, grandkids and distance. Yet when we speak with them they tell us about their trips, trips and visits with friends, parties they’ve hosted all tequiring them to miss church, be away from grandchildren and require more driving time. It’s a choice not to be here to play an active roll in my in laws life’s. Not one grandchild picks up the phone to call much less mustard up a visit. I wish I could actively walk away to push others to participate but the joke would be on me. I know how alone and bitter you can become when the responsibility falls solely on your shoulders. My mom in law has behavioral issues that makes her unbearable at times yet within the same breath steal your heart. I also hear and carry the pain she feels because she’s not called or visited. She practically lived with one of hers sons house when they had an infant child born with severe health issues losing her at the age of 4. Being an (in law ) looking into the family dynamics of this family blows my mind. Basically my mom in law has become invisible to family members. Even at Christmas I have to remind people to speak to her and include her in the conversation weather she can or cannot take active participation in the conversation. I know this website is designed to give answers to others seeking help. But I read your post and felt we had a lot in common. It’s the first and only time I’ve chose to participate in open conversations such as this. But I’m wore out physically and emotionally and as I suspect with you this is a very small view of what we live with daily. This is only my frustration with family it doesn’t begin to include the daily task of caring for someone with dementia and the emotional roller coaster we live with daily. I wish you peace and happiness. Because in my situation it’s not going to come from my mom in law who blames me for everything yet I’m her only constant. And like your mom....she’s a sweet southern belle in the presence of others yet changes the minute their gone. I’ve quit searching for comfort from her....yet pray for it daily
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My dad is 91 and has Vascular Dementia. He fell twice after Christmas and broke his shoulder and the top of his femeur having a pin and plate put in on New Years day. He was discharged on Feb 28 and has come to live with us as he can't see to himself now. We have support 4 times a day to get him up washed and dressed, try him with the toilet then last call to put him to bed at night. He loves his newspaper and seems to read this most of the day. But he does nod off to sleep in between times. He sleeps at night but does wake to go to the toilet - this can be up to 4 times a night every 2-3 hours. We gave an alarm pad in the bed allowing me to wake and get up when he is out of bed. Apart from his news paper he gad vety little interest in TV. Music or even visitors as he won't part with his paper for anyone ad if you can get him to put it one side he will fall asleep. At night time he has a fixation with lights and gas to turn them off all the time. I've purchased night lights tgst come on when it gets dark but he has found these and takes them out of the sockets. Evenings are a constant battle with him to keep lights on till the carers come in to put dad to bed then we switch all the viable lights off.

Just wonder if anyone else has thus problem with lights?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My morher is 88 and is sleeping a lot and not eating so much anymore. What stsge of alzimers is it pls. She has it
Helpful Answer (24)
Report
Jenifer51- I don't see where anyone has posted on here in a while, however I understand what you are dealing with. I don't have siblings and my Mom can at times seem with it around others but with me she takes out all her frustrations. I am her care giver and wanted to keep her with me for as long as possible to make her life comfortable. She is mobile and dresses herself and bathes and still knows who we are. She does have episodes of anger though and always directed at me. I tell myself that part of her is not the mother I always had, yet it is still very difficult. I take it one day at a time. I watched my grandmother and aunt go through this. They also loved their sons and took out their anger on the girls. Its a cruel way to loose our parent.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My Mom 89 has Alzheimer's. I feel it surfaced when my father died. They were married 63 years. Was such a shock to her.
She sleeps a lot lately. Does anyone experience talking and moaning while they sleep. This is hard to watch your Mom go through. I am trying so hard to keep her out of nursing home. I feel I am failing. Each day harder to care for, as I say with tears in my eyes.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
My mom is 76 and was diagnosed with dementia 3years ago. She was at home with us but always scared and paranoid hallucinating that people were calling her names. She was incontinent and only just able to feed herself. I showered her changed her nappies and picked her up when she fell over. She had been going 3 days a week for 4 hours to aged care respite and liking it when she fell in the hall way and broke 4 ribs. She was in hospital for 4 weeks while they managed pain and reassessed her medication. Her decline was swift. She couldn't walk without 2 people that help her or feed herself. She could communicate but not well. They told us we had to put her into respite and consider full time care. I didn't have the heart to tell her what was happening so told her it was rehab so she could learn to walk. That was over 12 months ago and again her decline was rapid. She no longer talks except for gibberish words. She no longer knows me or my Dad despite both of us going to feed her lunch and dinner daily. She is completely immobile and can't even sit up by herself. She does know my brother and my niece when they visit each week. She sleeps a lot and doesn't eat a lot. I don't know how close it is for her but it is hard to watch her
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
I'm disabled also,& I have a little help everyday.My husband is a sweetheart, &he has dementia. He doesn't like to bathe, & I'm afraid he'll get MRSA or sores on his skin. Does anybody else have problems with loved one not wanting to shower or bathe? Any help will be appreciated.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My husband doesn't have alzheimer disease, but he stays in bed most of the time. He'll be 85 this month. He doesn't have anything else to do except eat and watch tv. I think he's just depressed now. I can't sleep in the same bed with him anymore. He is nude,& leaves urine,mucus,& skid marksin the bed. I wish you luck and Blessings. .It's a lonely life now.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Mom is sleeping more now as well. She is 94 and has hardly eaten anything for the past two weeks. She gets very dizzy and faint if she lies flat back or is standing up/exerting herself, and does not have the strength to hold herself up. I thought she was in the active stage of dying on Monday, so I arranged for the anointing of the sick. She was better the following day, and perks up if she has visitors, but when she is alone and just me, there is a heavy atmosphere and low energy. She doesn't want to do anything, and I can't seem to comfort her at all. Totally different dynamics. Maybe it's because she's comfortable enough with me to be genuine and express what she's feeling. But she has been having chest pain, back pain and shortness of breath, and her breathing, when she's snoozing, can become rapid, then slow. Then she will be very confused, talking when she's half awake, not knowing if it's night or day, not able to tell the difference between TV and reality and converging episodes with real life events. Crying for her mother and father. I do believe this is the beginning of the end, but it is so stressful not knowing if it will be days, weeks, months. On Monday there was such a sense of absence, emptiness, and I felt quite melancholy. It will be so different from dad's passing because he was in a nursing home when he died, and we were told when his death was eminent and we could prepare for it - well, you're never really prepared when it happens. But mom and I have lived in the same apartment for 17 years, so her presence (and lack of it) will be felt more acutely.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
M
Marisky Nov 2018
My mom is having the same dizziness. Her md said she had a uti and treated her for it, but the dizziness continues. Blood tests were ordered but results aren’t back yet. She gets very dizzy when she lies down or gets up from lying down. Her blood pressure is fine. I am stumped.
(1)
Report
Jeanifer: It's a mystery, just wondered if anyone else has had this problem (s)?

My answer is YES. I get treated like crap by both parents for whom I care. Emotional intelligence and reason is and always has been low for them. I am fervently seeking a ft job far away so I can leave the caregiving to the rest of the siblings who have done nothing to help all the while maligning my contribution with my parents.

I wake up wondering what I will be slammed for next. I get that b*tching makes my mom feel important - but even when there might be a vein of truth to it - (often not)- the delivery and childishness that comes with it numbs me to any logic she may have.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Not certain if you mentioned blood pressure ----so I ask if he has a regular blood pressure/ is on BP meds. If it is low, sleeping can be the result. May need his MD to evaluate his bp & adjust accordingly?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My father is 87 and suffers Dementia and PTSD. He doesn't know me 95% of the time. When is mind is dementia he is totally helpless. He had to have help with everything, however when he is PTSD he can walk some but wants to go during this state. He is now having a hard time swallowing. He is losing weight and a large part of his muscles. I am no longer sure what stage he is in. I help care for him 24/7. I see him slipping away but unsure of what to watch for. He is a retired Marine and I don't want to see him suffer
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My mom has Alzheimer's, sleeps a lot, but when the son she loves the most comes in, she is wide awake, ready to go with him anywhere. I have been her primary caretaker, but got burnt out completley with no help from my 5 brothers and sisters, so I just quit so they would have to step in; I just couldn't do it anymore. But one thing that bothered me, and still do, is the fact she mistreated everyone we brought in to help her, including me since I was there most of the time. She wouldn't let anyone we hired stay more than a couple of days; we finally figured out she doesn't like women, now looking for a male, but it could be the same situation with her not wanting anyone to help her even thought she knows she does things wrong now and can't take care of herself, but continually tells us she can do it. But, like I said earlier, my 2 brothers can get her to do anything, and she will do places with them, but not me except when I take her to the doctor, she goes then. I don't understand how she can be mean to others and sweet as sugar to my two brothers; it makes the other family members thnink she can be somewhat normal when she wants to. It's a mystery, just wondered if anyone else has had this problem (s)?
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
My mum has suddenly started sleeping a lot - in the last few weeks. It's very noticeable that it's a new stage of her dementia. She's 88 and like others have said, seems to prefer to be in bed and 'asleep' when not even asleep!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My mom is 85 years old, she was diagnosed with Dementia 3 years ago. We had planned to go on a cruise next week but I am concerned. She is sleeping alot, and not eating much at all. The past couple weeks she has more confused then normally. I am afraid taking her out of her surroundings will be hard on her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My father will be 85 this month and he sleeps more now then he has been. It's good to hear from other caregivers. I pray strength for all who have love ones with Alzhiemers.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
My husband is only 69 and has moderate/late dementia (vascular) which progresses in pronounced steps. It alarms me that he suddenly is sleeping a lot. After reading your comments, it grieves me to realize he may be in the final stages. But it also comforts me to know that you have experienced the same thing and that I am not alone.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
My Mom has alzheimer's ans she sleeps well but the another day she fell asleep at 2pm till 730am . Is this normal ?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I know this is an old post but it seems to have been resurrected by others' situations. I care for my mother who will be 94 in a few months. She has a tendency to doze on the couch throughout the day, especially when she starts to watch TV. She is going to bed a little earlier at night, but cries out in her sleep and often wakes up saying she is dying, she is going to die tonight, why is God doing this to me, what have I done to deserve this, why doesn't He just take me. The next morning she does not remember anything about it. The numbness and tingling of severe carpal tunnel syndrome wakes her up as well.

She has just recently developed another eye infection which seems rather severe. It looks like uveitis from the pictures and description on the web. I managed to get her to a walk-in clinic last Saturday and received a prescription for antibiotic drops. The doctor said if it didn't clear up in a week to go to her g.p. Along with the infection, she is getting more severe headaches/eye pain, and it is hard to tell if it is from the infection or the meningioma (benign growth on the skull above the affected eye). I've given her more Tylenol in the past week or two than in the last few months.

Well the drops didn't even make a dent in the infection and I have been so worried the retina might detach or she might lose her vision. Against a lot of opposition I called the Med Visit doctor, who was amazingly intelligent as he had eye issues himself. He gave me another prescription for eye drops as well as an ointment to put in at night, but reassured me that she showed no signs of a detached retina. However, if I didn't seen an improvement within 48 hours, to go to Emergency, where they would have the equipment to look at the back of the eye and make a referral to a specialist. Needless to say, she refused to go today.

She has such profound fatigue and weakness that she becomes short of breath with the slightest physical exertion or emotional upset. She has tremors that look more like mini seizures, especially when she is angry/upset/arguing. She also complains more about not being able to breathe. Her hearing loss is so profound now that even when I am speaking up close to her and repeating myself 4 times, she cannot hear or comprehend even the simplest of questions or statements. The extreme dizzy spells are becoming frequent and she has trouble walking (she says she doesn't have any strength in her).

I believe this is the beginning of the end, but then it can go on for months or years. I just wish she wasn't so oppositionally defiant about having someone in with her. This proverbial plane is experiencing a lot of turbulence and headed for a crash landing.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My wife who is 61 has "Pick's" disease, she sleeps a lot or eyes closed. She will wash a few pots up but after that it is sleeping, it is so emotionally draining seeing her there, caring for her 24/7. Compared to how she used to be a fantastic cook and baker, house spotless. You ask her how she is and get no reply, she will stand there in a morning after her shower and ask what do I do now I have seen her trying to put two pairs of pants on. I do get a bit of rest bite as she goes to our local Alzheimer's society 3 times a week, they have been fantastic.
K
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My mother has Alzheimer's and is sleeping more and more. I took her to the hospital last week because I thought she may have had a stroke. All the tests came back clear. The Drs said this was to be expected in the later stages of this terrible disease but she is only 72. It breaks my heart.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My Mom is 85 and was diagnosed with Dementia 10-1316. Rite now it is 2:13 in the afternoon and she still is not up yet. Some days she will get up early, say 9 or so but most of the time it is 11 or later. She nods off a lot during the day. This just starting happening about 8 months ago and I am worried. We go to the doctor tomorrow and I am going to talk to her doctor about it. I just hate Dementia and what it has done to my Momma.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Sherrieg, Read through some of the other discussions on this website. They will help you and you will be able to talk to more people. I have found them to be very helpful. You have to remember late stages of dementia and any infection they may have that you may not know about causes them to be agitated more which I believe is the case with my Dad. Things like their appetite changes, irritability, sleeping a lot, restlessness( my Dad has been busy picking at things for over 2 years now), confusion, memory loss, incontinence, progressive weight loss. Those are all symptoms in late stage dementia and I believe that is what my Dad may be going through. unfortunately,, time will tell,, but we don't know how long he will last. I am one who has never wanted to watch suffering linger on. I already did that with my Mom.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Yes. I am experiencing the same here. He threatened to throw me out of my own home today. He says I need not to worry about his problems. What he doesn't understand.. he is a problem and he is my problem. Not everybody has the financial means to just put them somewhere for somebody else to care for. I don't. It's just me. My Dad has always been hateful just worse now with this disease. I think I would rather he sleeps all the time, at least I don't have to face his ugliness,
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Dad just started oxygen last week, 2 litres it helped he came around but now just hateful and sleeps
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Sherrieg, This appears to be an older thread but I came across your post here, I care for my dad also and he has always been a man who liked to take naps but 6 months ago I would say he stayed awake more. Now within the past 6 months he has gone from sleeping 12 hours then 15 or more and now within the past 2 months 20+ hours a day and he would sleep all the time if I didn't try to get him up for snacks, meals, or drinks. When he tells me lately that he tried to get up out of bed that tells me maybe he just wasn't able to or he is having an issue with waking up. I see that sometimes he is hard to awaken like his eyes are half open but yet he doesn't see or hear me.. he is just in a daze and looks so pale when he is sleeping. I believe he isn't getting enough oxygen to his brain and he acts that way, in a daze even when he is up moving around.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Hi everyone, just found this site..I'm caring for my dad with this horrible disease, was just needing someone to talk to...he's starting to sleep alot..
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My mother has had Alzheimer's disease for several years and recently has begun sleeping more and more. She is eating less, talking less, and having more trouble keeping her balance when she walks. Just this week, she suddenly seemed to be in a daze. What does this mean? Does this signal that her disease is progressing? What is happening to her when she appears to be in a daze and what can I do to help her?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
What usually causes death in a person with Alzheimers ? Like those that have written before me, my husband has started sleeping most of the time. His appetite has decreased and he has lost all interest in watching the dvd's that he used to watch. He talks very little now and isolates himself from human interaction. I have just discovered this website and thank you for it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
My husband has dementia...couple of months ago started sleeping from 8-9 in the evening until 2-3 in the pm. He does eat/drink anything at all until he gets up. Worry about dehydration. No major illnesses (physical); deep depression. Has refused all suggestions for mental help; daytime activity; social visits. At my breaking point. Any suggestions?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter