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One key issue is what exactly did your mom do and why? If
she wanted to gift it to Sissy (& that is Sissy's story), then it's
a she said/you said problem. If she was coerced into doing it,
then that's different, but can be hard to prove if mom is not
capable and cognizant and will file a complaint on Sissy.
If you are uncomfortable doing the suggestions but still want to make Sis return the money you might send her a note, telling her that mom actually needs the $$ that she gave her on
/about a specific date; that the money was not a gift
and needs to be returned as just so we're transparent on this via a check deposited into mom's account and provide the
deposit slip; again mention that mom needs the money for her day to day care; also mention that if that if she (Sissy) has a different understanding of mom intentions please provide that information to your mom in writing as the government will be asking for that information; and finally that she will be getting a 1099 for 2010 taxes and enclose a W-2 for her to fill out and return & enclose a stamped envelope to your mom. Maybe include an I-9. Xerox everything. Send it all certified, RRM. Usually runs $ 6.00 to do at USPO.
The IRS threat really can work wonders. If she won't repay or
return the W-2 & an I-9, you can right after Jan 1, 2011 send
a SS# refusal letter to the IRS with her contact information.
They will send her a letter.
None of this is pretty. If you don't have the stomach for it, please see a certified elder care attorney in the state in which
your mother has legal residence. Good luck!
A guardianship is both time consuming and costly. Been there done that...still I am a prisoner of the consqeuences.
you could threaten your sister that this is financial elder abuse and you WILL call the police. This is a ten years in prison offense...who do you have to back you up...someone nice and tall and means business. Try to get money back from her willingly before you go to lawyers. Should only take a day or so for you to know if she will be willing. Say you will call the cops, then do it if she doesn't cooperate. If she has already spent the money, get her to sell what she spent it on and then to create a quick repayment plant.
The police will call the Public Guardian probably...states differ how they handle this. Good luck and get moving. That money is being spent...also in some states ok for a relative to sue in small claims court on behalf of another. I could to this on behalf of mom, for isntance, as the public guardian has refused to go after my sister's thefts.
This will give you a clear picture of what her legal and financial responsibilities will be as far as care if she would need nursing home care and Medicaid qualification.
You need to become familiar with the term spending down and what that entails. Your sister needs to be aware of that term as well.
Where money is involved, this gets ugly. Families become more dysfunctional than they were before. Hang in there.This may not be a pleasant topic but it is one that needs to be addressed. This should be by the financial power of attorney. Or addressed on by estate planning or in a will. Good luck.
Diane Carbo