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You don’t mention if your husband has dementia or not . With dementia this could be a very stressful trip .
How about a more local trip , if he thinks it’s too stressful ?
Have him wear pull-ups for protection so he doesn’t risk a fall by hurrying to the bathroom. Start wearing them now so he can have confidence they will work.
Skip any walking by utilizing the services the airport provides. Go by yourself to check it all out so you are familiar before hand.
Are there other issues?
You might want to update your bio. It is all about your parents and nothing about not DH. I hope you have a wonderful time.
They will take you and your husband on a cart from check in to the gate. You will get through security much faster and you won't have to rush.
Do get to the airport the full 2 hours before though.
Get disposable incontinence underwear. Get him used to wearing it now. Even encourage him to pee in it so that he knows how well they work and he won't try to rush to the bathroom if he is comfortable knowing that they won't leak.
But even with that pack a few gallon zipper bags and an extra change of clothes as well as a few extra disposable underwear. If he needs to he can change. There are "Family restrooms" so you can help if you need to.
While it may be an expense if you live more than 2 hours from the airport you might want to think about getting a hotel near the airport so that you won't have to rush. Most of those hotels will provide transportation to the hotel and if you drive your car to the hotel they may allow you to park for the duration of your trip.
This is an even better suggestion if you have an early morning flight.
Side note..I hope you have trip insurance just in case you do have to cancel at the last minute.
Keep traveling as long as you can - when my husband and I see the over 90's out and about - we hope to be them some day.
So basically this is your own choice. That you are thinking about this and measuring the pros and cons is great. That's about the best you can do.
I wish you the best of luck.
And those airline bathrooms... only fit 1 person no matter what, so if your husband has any issues in there (like figuring out how to unlock the door, etc) you may be waiting outside of it for a while.
You can order wheelchair service from the airport entrance to the gate and even onto the plane if you ask for this (in advance). You can rent the baggage carts for schlepping luggage. And do the same when you land in Hawaii. It is a long flight... once he's there will you have help with him? It's really up to you to decide what you think you are willing and able to do.
Maybe go to California coast instead? I’d suggest Florida keys but not sure how they are doing right now with these hurricanes.
I don’t know where you live, but it took us a long time to get to Honolulu. 3.5 hours to Salt Lake City and then 7 hours to HNL.
Is he going to do Ok for 7-10 hours of flight time with no where to land when you are over the ocean?
Also, my 65 year old uncle had a kidney stone in Hawaii and he didn’t want to get it out there, so it was a turn around long flight for him and then straight to the ER to take care of that.
Hope it all works out.
I think it depends on what kind of shape YOU are in.
Do you have a Plan B for everything?
The sleepless night before will be harder on you than him; he’ll sleep on the plane. But are you physically strong enough to do absolutely everything if it turns out to be too much for him? Do you have the energy to do ALL the planning and ALL the execution of every aspect of the trip? If so, go, and have a wonderful birthday trip! If not, better not.
BTW, what does your husband say about it all?