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Maybe get him a nice file box (I used a pretty winebox for my brother's stuff in the beginning) and ask Dad to organize his "important papers". Give him the files marked "taxes", "home repairs", implement guarantees, medical, blah blah and tell him to put his important papers in the file. Then, when Dad is asleep, gone, whatever, go through the file. He may be better at this than you think.
And it may be helpful.
I absolutely LOVE that you are ENABLING your father instead of DISabling him. You are fostering independence, a sense of pride, and most of all some CONTROL. Many make the mistake of trying to do every single things for them, which is demoralizing at best.
I completely congratulate you, K. What good work!
As soon as I get the POA papers signed my next awful job is trying to figure out his finances.
He handed me the bag full of unopened mail on the day I moved him... and I was like, no, I can not deal with this now.
BUT I can give him back his mail and he can sort it and put it in folders!!!!
I could hug you right now
Your relationship with your dad is truly heartwarming. You are allowing your father to retain his dignity.
I remember becoming frustrated whenever I had to take my mom to appointments.
Just before we were getting ready to leave she would say, “Honey, I have to use the bathroom. I won’t be long.” Old people move slowly when they have Parkinson’s disease.
Inevitably, I would end up having to rush to get her to her appointment. She would be back seat driving the entire time because she was nervous about being late. She was never late to any of her appointments. I made sure that she was on time.
I thought that I was doing the correct thing by telling her to use the bathroom earlier, so that we could get going sooner.
Mom called me out on this and said, “Please don’t speak to me like I am a child. Wait until you get old and can’t control that you have to use the bathroom more frequently. I am not trying to delay when we leave.”
I realized that Mom was right to call me out and I apologized to her. I never wanted her to feel like she lost her dignity, and I stopped telling her that she had to use the bathroom before we left.
Sometimes, it’s the little things that we have all done out of frustration that causes others to feel like they are not valued.
Once my mom told me, “People forget about us when we get old. The doctor speaks to you like I am not in the room.” I told the doctor to address Mom instead of me and if he needed additional information that I would give it to him.
Be an advocate for your father but let him know that he isn’t forgotten.
I am not worried about you. You have a caring and sensible attitude towards your dad. You’re going to do well in this next phase of your life.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I know that she is missed dearly by you and your father.
Wishing you all the best.
I never again want him to feel like he did with my brother, that he can't speak or ask questions because he's afraid I'll abandon him, kick him out on the street like my brother did and then he will be all along
I'm very touched because I don't think we see that often enough.
Love Alvas Idea.
I'm sure more will come to you as time goes buy
He's only been in his new place 4 days, and there is no stove, but he has a microwave. And he'll need some toiletries.
He gets one free meal a day but he should get to pick his snacks
Quite often facilities have trips they arrange. there are other activities in the building.
Some AL facilities have "ambassadors" that take new residents under their wing and show them around, introduce them to people and in general make them feel welcome. If his facility has something like that make sure that he is shown around. Many facilities have Activity Directors that will do this as well.
I am sure if you recently moved him into the facility there are boxes of things that he can go through. 1 box at a time with no pressure to get it done. Each box he goes through is one you don't have to go through.
She liked:
folding laundry
dry swiffering
If you think Dad is up for it can you have him prep a meal for you and daughter and then
the two of you come over to eat with him? Or prepare the meal that he prepped?
He is in assisted living and although he has a kitchen, they don't allow stoves. And with his arthritis, we call them his sausage fingers lol, he can't hold onto utensils very well.
BUT I'm sure this suggestion will help someone else ( :