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Good luck,
Carol
Here are my thoughts:
1. If your mom has a true estate - that is she has assets that legally will need a change of title or ownership in order for people named in her will to get, like a home or a car or stocks, then you will need to go thru probate. Probate costs money to do - about 3 - 5% of what the estate is.
2. BUT if mom owns nothing - no house, no car - she was just on Social Security or SS and a small retirement, there is no real need to do probate. So IF all she has is those coming in monthly and maybe a small savings in the bank, then go and get the money out before she dies and the account gets frozen and you have to go thru probate. If you are on the account as a POD (paid on death) the money will go to you once she dies but you will need to go with a death certificate in order for this to happen. This can take time.
If you are the only relative, there will be nobody to challenge what you do. Don't worry about it. Use the money for her funeral, give some to a charity that mom liked (Humane Society, Leukemia, whatever), arrange for flowers placed on the grave every month. If you want to pay off her bills with it, then do that.
I can remember being in probate court and there would be families there for a hearing over bank accounts with just a few thousand dollars in them and the nasty level of fighting going on over it. Just ugly. If you can avoid it, do so. Good luck.
They called me bipolar, sick, a thief, and on and on..I was almost crying. The Judge saw through all of them, appointed me conservator and I have done a kick-ass job.
I am on my moms credit union account as POD. The rest will pay off any bills (her annuities) and anything left is in an educational trust she literally pissed away paying my 55 year old sisters rent since 2002...plus, she got an $18,000.00 car, and $10,500.00 for every birthday....I got $100.00 for mine. The grandchildren that are left will never see the educational money...the Red Lobster got it along with Florida movie theaters my sister has stock in....she uses "my life stinks" to extort money from my mother...not anymore. I am in charge and she is CUT OFF, by the Probate Judge...he knows all about her!
I wish I belonged to a family that would treat me nice....my husband and son get it, and they stand by me 100%. My son and his cousins have nothing to do with each other....calling your mom a thief is not the way to bond with family.
This all happened many years ago and I do try not to think about it but when someone has the same situation I do try to pass my experience along. Good or bad so you can decide to do what you wish. This has also split our small family apart and no one knows where I am or how I am and doesn't really care. I still love my Mom very much, think of her often. She will be 90 in Sept. if she is still alive. I turn 70 in a couple of weeks. This really hurts and the hurt has really never gone away. But, I have my life, a good husband who is not well but I am happy even having to care for him. It was their choice to do what they did and since I didn't have a lot of money and didn't want to use grandpa's, which would not have been right anyway, if I had gotten any to pay attorney's. I had also just gone thru a divorce and used some of my funds for that. I hope they are living well and are happy. I really don't think they are any happier than I and are living comfortably and healthy with the added funds. My uncle already had quite a bit and my Mom didn't have much as my Dad passed at an early age. Grandpa did have a good sized estate. So, I guess you could add us as another dysfunctional family because of "money."
All the advice is useful so far, but also consider, if your mother is coherent and able, to add the designation on the checking/bank account, "POD" which means "payable on death." It is free of charge, is revocable, and she can name any one person. It is sometimes called "the poor man's trust".
I know it seems simpler to do what you're doing but it could cost you in the long run.
If you're doing this to be off the grid, it really doesn't work. If they are getting
SS then they probably also getting Medicare. All that is constantly updated so a death notice happens within 48 hours. SS will do a claw-back on any payments sent after the month of death too. The banks are linked into the SS notices and will freeze the accounts that match.
Yes, if she truly has no assets, then you never need to worry about probate. But if there is anything out there (house, car, she is part owner of some family property or business even if it is from ages ago) that would require a transfer of title in order for the next person to have clean ownership, then you have to go thru probate for the transfer to happen.
You say she has Soc. Security and a small pension & whatever savings she has (not a whole lot) goes into a savings account in your name. When you do that the $$ becomes commingled. The state can require that everything in the savings account (that is in your name) be spent down on her care even if some of the money is your own personal savings because it has been commingled. Medicaid does not allow money earned from work or Social Security to be “commingled” with anyone else’s money if the person wants to maintain eligibility for Medicaid.
Medicare is governed by the overall federal rules.
If you are on Medicaid and are a married couple, you are a legal entity as a married couple. Your $ is expected to be commingled, it's no problem. Each state has a ceiling of what the amount of $$ that is exempt from being used to pay for one spouse's share in order to qualify for Medicaid if you find that your DH needs to go to a NH and you don't. My mom is a widow so I never really bothered to find out those details. You & your DH are probably just fine with your trust!
What I was commenting on is the problem of commingling between a elderly person and their adult child or caregiver. It would be a shame if say, Ruiz had
10K saved up but only 2K was from mom's money but she had to spend all 10K of it on mom's spend down to get her on Medicaid because she couldn't produce a documented detailed papertrail for the last 5 years of where the $$ came from and got spent on. With Medicaid the caseworkers don't have the time or the training to go into details or listen to a story, it's got to get checked off yes or no and not well "part of it is mine and part of it is mom's". That gets checked off as a no and you get denied.You can appeal but again you have to produce the papertrail. My gut feeling is with the states all expecting shortfalls in revenue, denial of Medicaid application will increase as it's just so expensive.
If there are multiple heirs, each prospective heir gets a copy of the will, which they will have to sign and return to the court/or the lawyer for the estate. If you are the only heir, don't worry, no probate is necessary, although it may be a good thing.
Now the fun begins: Number one, YOU do NOT have to pay off her credit cards or her debts!! Do not put your name on anything. ( of hers). Try to get her to withdraw her money from the savings account, checking account and IRA's BEFORE she dies, if this is possible. Hopefully she will have named you as Executor or Personal Representative before her death. The court will do this for sure. Put the cash money in a safe place. Do not give it away or spend it. Forget charities. That's a joke. The rich seem to think that donations to charities are a good thing, but I have news..... (It often never reaches the designated charity).
Meet with an elder care lawyer, and lay out the will.
No where is it written that a deceased persons' bills have to be paid. It will have an adverse effect on her credit rating, but who cares? If there is no money in the estate, or very little, you can't pay the bills. You will have all you can do to tke care of the funeral and burial arrangements. Many unforseen bills will pop up.
If there IS money in her estate, anyone can file against the estate and try to recover their money. This is a legal process. That' why you want to get the money out before she dies. Am I bad, or what?