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In an early lucid period my husband said, "I took good care of my heart all these years for THIS?!! My brothers got to die quickly of a heart attack. I exercised and ate right and saw my doctors and took meds so that I get to lose my mind slowly! I envy my younger brother who died while tying his running shoes."
Not everyone is articulate enough to express this thought, especially after dementia sets in, but I suspect it is a common way of thinking.
My Dad has age related decline at 93, so his mind isn't as sharp as it use to be.... and I found it interesting the other day when he admitted that he's not thinking as quick as he use to, that it must be his age. Heck, it takes me longer to remember names of people, and sometimes it will be at midnight when I do recall a name :P
My boss's wife had Alzheimer's for 15 years, but he had noticed that a few times a day his wife would be *in the moment* where he could ask her a question and she would answer him. It's kinda like the brain is in a loop but that loop is damaged except for a very tiny moment where it is clear.
Too bad there isn't someway we could see what it is to have severe memory loss through the eyes of the person who has that loss.
As for a mentally incompetent person that's a different story. There are many reasons for mental incompetence. Dementia is just one of the many causes. So to say that a mentally incompetent person is aware that something is wrong is not necessarily accurate, it depends on the cause of the incompetence. An example of another cause of mental incompetence would be psychosis related to schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. In this case most of these folks are unaware that their thinking is off. Hope this helps.
She would not take any help either, even to the point of putting herself in danger. She would rather everyone in the community believe she's a weird old kook than an elderly lady in need of help with the activities of daily living.
Her sister is the exact same way. Better to be a shut in than let somebody in town see you with a cane or walker. I don't get it.
I want flames painted on my canes & walkers. My scooters & wheel chairs. I'll carry a bull horn with me to shout "get out of the way! Here comes granny!"
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