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But don't wait until she is placed to take care of yourself. I urge you to see a doctor. The weight loss is especially concerning. Shortly after my husband was diagnosed with dementia I experienced a weight loss like that, too. I had to make myself eat. I lost weight out of proportion to my eating. My doctor treated me for anxiety and was sure my health issues were related to my husband's diagnosis. When I finally went to an ER I was diagnosed with diabetes! No amount of anxiety meds in the world would have fixed by blood sugar problems! It is possible that all your health symptoms are related to your caregiving situation, but it is also possible something else is going on. So, please, get yourself a thorough examination. If hubby has to stay home a half a day so that you can, so be it. Naheaton has some good suggestions for getting through the days of the next few months. But please, please, see your health care provider.
But for these hard times, I suggest calling under the Government Pages in the phone book for your state, the Senior & Disabled services dept, the Veteran's administration if grandma or her husband were ever in the military. She could qualify for services through him for nursing homes, low income pensions, etc. Then call your County Developmentally Disabled Offices as they have phone numbers of special people that do respite care and might even help pay for the care for you. Then call the nearest large hospital and asking for their social worker and talk to them about your situation. Call a counselor from your husband work if it is a benefit of his insurance or just call one from the yellow pages. Call all the Churches, they will help if they can, you don't have to be a member. Get on the phone and remember that it only takes one phone call to put you in touch with the right person that can and will help you. Been there and done all of the above. Peg
I also want to comment on the part about how you don't have time anymore for social interaction/friends.....and how some friends seem to distance themselves from us caregivers. I get that too. What I've found is that it can be depressing for some friends to be involved in our lives. This is kind of a fact of life. We know how depressing these aging-related issues can be. And some friends kind of drift away......But...there are people who can handle it and can be friends with us. You probably don't have time for an in-person Caregivers' Support Group, but I'll bet you'd find some kindred spirits there. In the meantime, the forum here is just the kind of support you need and crave. We get it, and we sympathize. By the way, I also get when you say you used to be "extremely social and had an excellent career".....Believe me, those skills you have are still inside you....they are just "under cover" for a while. If you have any spare time, maybe you could seek out a friend like those of us here on the Agingcare forum. I have found a couple women in my area who really understand (but it took a while). I don't have a lot of time to get together with them. But a cup of coffee every now and then with one of them is so wonderful. If you don't have time for that, then pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee while you're reading these posts and think of it like a "girls' afternoon out"! With also some men friends who might be here.....Good Luck....You are doing great work.
There are so many good, practical suggestions for you on this thread....Especially the one about seeing your doctor. The weight loss and hair loss are connected to the stress burden you are under, at least that's my hunch. Your doctor will get it and will sympathize (mine does) and just listening to her tell you you are NOT losing your mind, that you have every right to feel this way.....is amazingly relieving. I don't know if you are taking anti-depressant medication, but your doctor may feel that is in order, if only for a short term. I take it, and could not handle this job without it.