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i spoke with the manager about it and for months the have been giving me the run around

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The first thing the nursing home told us when we had to put my mother-in-law in there temporarily for her rehab, was to label ALL her clothes. We bought a pen that was washable and I initialed all her clothes. I'm really surprised they never told you to do that. There were a few occasions that I actually did hunt down a few items that was given to someone else. So I would say if you have to, start looking around for yourself and see if you can locate some of the clothing. It's a pain, but the people that are living there, are probably not gonna care at this point in their lives if you spot a blouse that's in the wrong room and take it.
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Thank you Nancy H, I put my Mothers name in everything right down to her socks with permanent red marker,and when i say the took everything I mean it. and the depressed state it left my mother in is terrible.Im going to do my best to report them to any and everyone i can,and also get her out of there as soon as possible.any help or advice will be apreciated
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It is truly common for items to be missing, etc. Happens all the time, unfortunately - but that doesn't make it right. My mother lives at a facility and often some of her clothing is missing; but never all of it - that is not right. Do you live close enough to your mother to do her laundry so it doesn't have to be done there? My mother lives 2 hours away; so I'm unable to do her laundry on a regular basis.

In my mother's case; she often decides she wants to give clothing away - she has dementia - or she throws items away if she wants something new. The nurses take it and put it in a bag in a back room. They have even found things in the waste basket and taken them out and washed and returned.

It is so frustrating; especially the socks. She has swollen ankles and I have to buy her diabetic socks and they are expensive; her name is on everything with a permanent sharpie pen - but, still things get lost. And anyone I have ever talked to has the same problem, unfortunately.
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Some places that care for dementia and Alzheimer's patients tell you in advance that they will not have all their clothes within a couple of days. The patients misplace them. Other patients think they are theirs and take them. Remember, every patient there has memory and dementia problems. They do not know what they are doing and think things they see are theirs and rooms they go in are theirs. Items get lost in the laundry with or without labels. The best advice I can give is always use a distinctive color in all clothing or a certain type outfit or brand of clothing.
Your loved one will only get upset if you ask her where her things are. She cannot remember nor control her own life let alone her clothing. Take her out of the loop and ask the staff for suggestions. They, too, have other things to do and people to take care of and cannot watch where clothing ends up if it is not obvious.
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I just remembered, my mother-in-law has macular degeneration so her vision is pretty bad. When she was still living at home alone after her husband died, she had to start dressing herself. She couldn't tell the difference between navy blue and black, so she'd wear mismatched pants/blouse combos, which she was always fretting about. I started sewing a small button on the inside hem of her blue pants, so she'd only have to feel for it to know what color they were. Of course once the dementia came on her, she couldn't remember what the button was for, but it worked for awhile. I wonder if that would be an option for nursing home clothes? If a person really sewed tight a small button somewhere on the clothes, would that make it easier to find? I don't know, just a thought.
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I'll echo what everyone else said.
Coolmama is especially spot-on about not really making the MIA stuff a point as all it does is make your parent more anxious/agitated.....

I kinda have my mom down to a uniform of navy & grey pants and got her 4 sets of 5 all the same long sleeve blouses and 2 sets of 5 sweater vests with pockets. Every visit in I swap out 2 and leave 2 - the laundry is super harsh at the NH and everything will break down fiber wise eventually. Plus some of her old clothes. For her it works as it reinforces what is hers and makes it less worrisome decision making in getting dressed (she still does this on her own).Yep it's boring but trying to do cute and fashionable can only work if someone can go in each & every day.
Personally I find the shoe situation hysterical as it seems that almost all the ladies own the same two pairs of SAS shoes. The day that I have those on my feet it's all over for me I think.

At both the NH my mom has been in, I was required to fill out form listing her personal possessions and sign off on any responsibility by the NH as to their liability. If something is of value - real or sentimental, please don't leave it @ NH.
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I have the same problem where my mother is. They always play it down like it's nothing and then don't bother to do anything about it. I wish they would lock her door when she is not there, because what you have is dementia patients wandering around and going in her room and taking things. There is one girl who works there who will help and go in the other patients rooms until she finds it. I guess you just have to find someone who will help. Good luck.
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Ask to see the Lost and Found room. Yes ROOM. It will be huge.
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I was never told they had one, lol. Good idea to have one, thought, maybe I will make a suggestion.
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We had this same problem with GMO's nursing home, very disturbing but also understanding if you take a tour of their communal laundry room. Even if you mark their clothes, they are all washed together, and if you did laundry for a couple 100 residents pretty soon something would get mixed up. And we all knkw how socks go missing in our own homes. Best advice I ever read was (here?) to go buy replacement clothes at your local thrift store or Goodwill. Some days they have a tag sale and you can get really good deals then!
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I wash my Moms clothes and they don't go missing. It is just other stuff, like blankets, stuffed animals, her purse. The purse had no id or money or anything in it, but I just wanted her to have it. It has been missing now for 3 months. don't know why they can't lock her door when she is not there.
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Wintersun - I don't think it's reasonable to ask the care staff to lock every person's room when they aren't in there. Those folks are already so busy with care activities. Don't put anything in there you need to keep or see again.

My mom's clothes are sweat pants and long sleeved thsirts, year round now. Plus a few sweaters.

She "needs" to feel like she has a lot of clothes because she was a hoarder. There's a ton of stuff in her closet, but if it disappeared it would be no great loss. There's really only about 8-9 outfits she really wears anymore.

The NH laundry is HOT wash, HOT dry, so she doesn't need anything that can't take the heat - literally. It is shocking what stores want for "old lady pants". Those polyester elastic waisted pants that have matching blouses and jackets. They are collections that look like Garanimals for senior ladies. I am not paying $40-50+ per pair. I went with all the colors of $6 sweat pants for mom instead.

Like others said, other residents will take things, or the person will put something down and mislay it themselves. I find other people's clothes in mom's closet sometimes and just take it to the nurse's station. Teeth get mislaid, shoes, clothes, everything can get mixed up in that kind of setting.

The idea of keeping mom in nice clothes and nice things from home around her is a very ideal sentiment that is rarely possible. Clothes & things need to be very practical and replaceable.
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I was thinking, if they just had one key to every door. Same lock same key. The patients stay in the day room most of the time anyway. Least they could do is stop them from wandering around all the time. They just don't want to be bothered. Cost $5,000 a month, and the care is minimal. My moms cold all the time, so sweatpants and long sleeved shirts is perfect. I bought her 4 pair in different colors. I just want her to be comfortable, I think that is the most important thing.
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Also, when I was there one day last week, my mother was wearing a scarf, hat and gloves. I gave her mine. It was 64 degrees, one of the girls who works there told me. A window was left open, she said. I doubt that. I had to wear my jacket it was so cold. And, it ''s aways cold. I don't think sick old people should be sitting around in those temperatures. I wish there were something I could do.
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Years ago my uncle was in the skilled nursing section of a home. I was told I could go down to laundry room and look for the items. I did find a few items. While down there i spoke to the head of this department and she took me into her office and printed out iron on labels with my uncles full name. Told me to come back if I needed more . Having his name printed on a label did make them easier to find instead of looking for a worn out sharpie name The nurses on his floor told me there was a washer and dryer on each floor and if I wanted to do his laundry while I was there I could. I just kept soap and softener in his room and did his laundry myself. Things that they washed were faded in about 2 weeks. His clothes lasted longer when I did his wash myself while I was there. Even if things were damp when I wanted to leave I just put on hangers in his closet. He had enough outfits for two weeks. If I couldn't get there, I would just call and ask them to send his wash down to the laundry.
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I saw my mother's clothes on other people and it made me so upset. But some I didn't like anyway. She didn't recognize them though. The AL said they would reimburse me, but I told them no, they weren't worth anything. So I bring them home and wash them, when ever she gets out of them. I even had to put a big note on the door that I wash them.
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WElcome to small crime. SHARPIE PEN on the OUTSIDE of clothing. This is permanent, and if your mom is wheel chair bound, then BIG BOLD WRITING ON THE BACK OF SHIRT - OUTSIDE, I guarantee you it will not be stolen. She wont see it, and you wont see it when she is sitting in chair or in bed. Almost guarantee noone will want to wear it around. It should find it's way back to mom's room when laundry is done.
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My brother was in a facility 58 years old, I bought him new slippers, asked daughter to put a design on top, and his name on side, big gold glitter glue, you can't miss that!!! They went missing.
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TAke that back, nothing in life is guaranteed - really, so cheap clothes. I went walking and found a house that put a huge box of clothes and things outside on a saturday. I grabbed the t shirts- all the same, and took them to my brother's. I think they all disappeared, hope another resident ended up with some. That's what I learned, give my old clothes to places like this, they need them, hard laundry, someone can use them...Don't let them have anything expensive, it will be gone... Happed t o my aunt as well., and mom
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Socks are the most difficult. If you cannot do the laundry yourself, and even then one or two shirts got into the NH laundry, make sure each piece is labeled with her name. Bright colored socks would make them easier to spot on other residents or in the lost and found, though it may make your loved one stand out some. The lost and found room by the laundry was huge so you need a little time to dig thru the boxes and check the clothing on hangers.
You may want to speak with the NH social worker about this. It is possible that another resident with dementia took them. When my Mom was in for rehab there was a man who took another man's toothbrush almost every day and threw it away. Some of the aides at this place were downright lazy and couldn't seem to read the "Family does laundry" signs either. The first " 5 star facility" my Mom was in had aides who were hoping I wouldn't come back for some plants in fancy containers because they wanted them for themselves and they even told me this when I came back for the plants the day after Mom was rushed to the hospital. I never sent her back to this place. Is there another resident with a name similar to your Mom's that could have gotten the clothing? For what these nursing homes charge they sure cause a lot of strife.
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I have worked in nursing homes for 14 years. I also work in the laundry and personal clothing. From experience, I get lots of no name clothes on a daily basis. First, the nursing home should let the family know that even if they are doing the residents laundry or letting the facility do the laundry, the clothes have to be labeled. I mean everything, including socks, shoes, belts, glasses, dentures, all personal items. Some nursing homes like where I work we have a label machine. Upon arrival, ask if they have a label machine and if not, sharpies work or a clothing marker. One thing my nursing home does not do is have the residents clothes come directly to get labeled, which would make my job a lot easier. I do keep the no named clothes, and go through them when someone is missing something. Most of the time I can find what they are missing. So, please when you bring your family member into a nursing home label everything. Fabric labels and markers do fall off or wash away, so marking them on tags and in several places will help.
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I used a permanent marker right at the inside neckline where a tag would normally be, and they still managed to snare one of Mom's nightgowns during a rehab stay. Who would be so pathetic as to steal an old woman's nightie? Good thing I got Mom several nice ones once she came home to make up for the loser nursing home.
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When my Mom was in long-term-care, I placed a note on the hamper and inside Mom's closet that said "the family will do the laundry :)".

But one time I was out sick for a few days and notice more than half the clothes were missing from Mom's closet. I asked the Nurse/Aide and she said maybe the facility did the wash if the hamper was too full. Sure enough the next day the clothes were back in the closet nice and clean.

Glad I had read about laundry and nursing homes long before my Mom ever needed one, so I was prepared. I didn't take anything of value that might disappear. One time I was searching for Mom's glasses, looked high and low. Found them under the hospital bed back in a corner which I guess they got pushed when housekeeping was cleaning the floor.
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I guess the only real solution would be for the nursing home to provide the clothing for everyone. That way there's not anyone who can complain that "their" stuff went missing or someone stole it. But of course who would want to live in that place? There's certainly trade-offs for having your loved one in a facility, and this is a very annoying one. But the lack of privacy would bother me even more. That's why I am so glad I made it possible for my parents to stay in their own home for as long as possible.
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Are they suppose to wash everyones clothes together? Thats gross!
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They should not wash everyones clothes together, thought that was a health regulation?
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I'm sorry but when my mum is paying nearly £4000 a month for her care, I expect her things to be respected! She has now had 15 pairs of pants, a brand new skirt, carriage clock, TV remote, 2 cardigans, 2 pairs of trousers, a new cosyfeel slipper and a framed painting she did herself 'removed', and the only thing that came back was the Tv remote. When I see the horrendous waste of food that goes on and the highly expensive redecoration of the lounges, it makes me feel this money could have been better spent on an extra staff member at busy times to monitor room swapping. My mum is not a wanderer and still gets upset that she has to wear paper pants because there are none in the drawer, that she can't see the time because her clock has gone, and that her privacy is constantly invaded by other residents.
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Perhaps technology will be able to help with this in the future.
I can imagine bar code labels on clothing to help sort the laundry, microchips embedded in items like dentures and glasses, room doors that only admit the rightful residents and staff with thumb print locks or maybe some type of smart bracelet (hmm, that could do double duty as a tracker). If they want to leave their room doors open during the day there could be some kind of half door or screen door that would still give them that ability.
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My mother is in a nursing home, has demetia, macular degeneration, heart problems, cannot walk, dress herself and has COPD. I visit the home regularly and they have consistently lost her clothing, even though a sign is on the closet door that says FAMILY DOES LAUNDRY in bold letters. I have asked the administration, the nurses and aids to just have the aids take the clothing out to dress my mom in the morning and return it to the laundry basket at the end of the day. I have told them that if it is soiled, to put the soiled item in a plastic bag and put it in the laundry basket in the closet. This has been ongoing for 5 months since my mother has been there. The laundry room manager has told me to send her clothing to the laundry room and they would label her clothing. There is still a pair of pajamas missing and a pair of pants. I do not feel right going into other people's closets to see it those items are there. There is a whole closet full of missing clothing from floor to ceiling on all four sides. I have found items there on several occasions. The director of laundry services stated that he has no control over what other people do. I do believe that all administrative staff are responsible for making sure that the aids and nurses take care of patients medications, oxygen, clothing and dentures and eye glasses.
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I had the same problem with my father's things. Now they are all marked with a stamp whose ink does not come out with the wash and can be applied to any fabric. I found this on: stampallyourclothes (.com)
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