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Your loved one will only get upset if you ask her where her things are. She cannot remember nor control her own life let alone her clothing. Take her out of the loop and ask the staff for suggestions. They, too, have other things to do and people to take care of and cannot watch where clothing ends up if it is not obvious.
In my mother's case; she often decides she wants to give clothing away - she has dementia - or she throws items away if she wants something new. The nurses take it and put it in a bag in a back room. They have even found things in the waste basket and taken them out and washed and returned.
It is so frustrating; especially the socks. She has swollen ankles and I have to buy her diabetic socks and they are expensive; her name is on everything with a permanent sharpie pen - but, still things get lost. And anyone I have ever talked to has the same problem, unfortunately.
My mom's clothes are sweat pants and long sleeved thsirts, year round now. Plus a few sweaters.
She "needs" to feel like she has a lot of clothes because she was a hoarder. There's a ton of stuff in her closet, but if it disappeared it would be no great loss. There's really only about 8-9 outfits she really wears anymore.
The NH laundry is HOT wash, HOT dry, so she doesn't need anything that can't take the heat - literally. It is shocking what stores want for "old lady pants". Those polyester elastic waisted pants that have matching blouses and jackets. They are collections that look like Garanimals for senior ladies. I am not paying $40-50+ per pair. I went with all the colors of $6 sweat pants for mom instead.
Like others said, other residents will take things, or the person will put something down and mislay it themselves. I find other people's clothes in mom's closet sometimes and just take it to the nurse's station. Teeth get mislaid, shoes, clothes, everything can get mixed up in that kind of setting.
The idea of keeping mom in nice clothes and nice things from home around her is a very ideal sentiment that is rarely possible. Clothes & things need to be very practical and replaceable.
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