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I realize with some elders they are unable to hold their bladder very long so usually it is seconds between feeling they need to go to the bathroom and actually having to go. It took my Dad awhile to understand that he can go into his Depends/Guard.
My Dad would rather not bother the Staff and he will try to get to the bathroom himself... sometimes the Aide will find Dad asleep sitting on the toilet.
My MIL hired one-to-one 24/7 nursing care for her mother in her mother's home; then called in one lunchtime and found said nurse asleep in the spare room. I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that scene.
Culpable she may have been (and, I suspect, moonlighting), but I should think that poor nurse wished she'd never been born; and the more regrettable outcome was that Grandma-in-law was moved shortly after to a nursing home. I suppose MIL felt she had thrown as much money at the situation as it was possible to throw, and still her mother wasn't safe. It was one of the rare occasions when I have genuinely felt sorry for her.
Dorindarose, I agree with you that a thirty minute wait is unacceptable. Unfortunately it is almost impossible to avoid its happening sometimes: the staffing ratios needed to prevent it totally would be unaffordable, but it isn't only the money. If you had sufficient staff to ensure that no resident was ever kept waiting for more than a few minutes, most of the time some of the staff would have literally nothing to do, and people don't thrive on hanging around being useless any more than they do on being overworked.
So I'd say it is common, rather than normal. That sort of delay was also one of the deciding factors in my bringing my mother home after rehab. If doing that isn't an option for you, then another suggestion might be to ask for training in transferring your mother so that you can safely take matters into your own hands when you visit. I'm sorry, I know this is an agonising thing to see.
My mom was a two-person transfer, and the person who came into the room first could not assist her alone. Sometimes he or she got another person immediately, and sometimes there was a delay.
All of the staff had very helpful, caring attitudes. I never got the impression the delay was because they were yacking on the phone or gossiping in the hallways. They did their best, but delays were difficult for Mom, of course. If I was with her I'd remind her that she had on a disposable pad so if she leaked a little before they got there it wouldn't be a big deal. This helped a little, but I don't think she'd remember that if someone wasn't there to remind her.
I think 1/2 hour 90% of the time is too long. But is that an accurate count or just an impression? If you have evidence, I'd bring it up at the next care conference, and ask what the standards are.
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