By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I don't know if your siblings know they were being hurtful but there's two options for you... Tell them, talk it out, let them know how you feel or if that's not an option, it might help to try to realize that maybe they just were talking without thinking, try to forgive that. It sounds like your Dad got good care in hospice & from trained caregivers and there's no guilt in having good care for him to add to his comfort in the end. It was about what was best for him.
Please know, there are so many here who care for you & would love to listen, no matter how long or short you wish to share. My heart goes out to you, you are incredibly strong
You are an angel and you did all that you possibly could. Of course you were stressed to the max. It’s the hardest job ever being a caregiver, especially all alone.
Your siblings are awful to criticize you. They are even more awful to want palliative care withheld from your dad in hospice.
You did not cause your father’s illness or death. You did nothing wrong but everything right. Bringing him to hospice was the best possible solution for him and yourself.
It’s devastating watching someone you love die. Your siblings were not involved like you were. Your dad knew who cared for him and loved him. You! Some people do not cope well in that situation. Maybe your siblings don’t.
You will grieve. You will have a range of emotions. He will live in your heart forever.
Do you have access to grief counseling? Did hospice tell you about it? They offer it. There are other grief groups as well.
Please seek out this service. Especially since your husband isn’t able to be a comfort to you. He may not know how to. He may be relieved from no longer having caregiver responsibilities. I don’t know your husband. You know him, we don’t.
Take care. Hugs! We are here if you need to talk.
It IS very fresh, and I'm so sorry for your loss and for what you've been through over these years. Just know that here on the forum you're talking to people who do understand, and who do realise how impossible it must have been for you to care for your father at home once he had become so frail. You have nothing at all to regret.
But grieving for your father is a different thing from feeling guilty about his care, and it is bound to take time simply because you were so close to him. If you can't talk openly to your husband about how you feel, is there anyone else you can turn to?
His own mother passed away a 2 1/2 yrs ago. But some reason they were not close. She was in a nursing home and 102. With her mind in tack.
She lived about 1/ 2 hour away but he never really wanted to go and to stay and talk to her. He would would not go unless I went with him.
I told him we should go at least once a week and eat lunch or dinner with her. We did for a while but that did not last very long.
His interpretation: its part of life and he knew this a long time ago when its her time to go she will???. He accepted the fact that she was 102 and nothing more could be done for her! Wow!
So now I tell him when he see’s me crying nothing is “wrong” all he can do is is give me a hug. Oh yes I did tell him I was not like him, I still feel the hurt deep down in my heart and I can not help it.
making you go UGH again because you needed to go and find what you needed.
I have talked to my brothers and sisters sometimes niece some times not so nice. Now they asking for some of his things..... (my dad did not have much) both brothers call and asked about my dads pocket watch which he broke opening and closing every day. I let them both know. They said not to worry dad already gave them each one. Just last week each called about the broken watch? REALLY! It is now in pieces my dad dropped it, and in a plastic bag.
Yesterday one sister asked about my dads dominos she stated dad told her a long time ago she can have them. (I do not believe it) but I told her I will look and send his socks and shorts too. JOKING.
thank you all for helping me, some how typing these things really do help.
Peace and love.