By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
You might suggest that both you and your brother meet with parents physicians jointly and discuss your observations, etc. with the doctor and get his professional input. Gladimhere also had a good suggestion on an independent third party evaluation.
Maybe your parents want to go to residential care and are open to the idea but aren't saying that to you expressly.
Are you and brother open to getting additional home care/assistance for parents so they can manage in their home a little longer?
This is hard. Please try to have a civil conversation with brother and ask him to visit some care facilities (memory care, AL, NH) with you (without your parents) so you can evaluate ALL your options. Then have a conversation with your parents, narrow down options to 2-3 places; take parents for a visit and enlist their thoughts/needs/choice in the process.
Personally, I think the care facilities are the best value over home care (especially if 24 hrs home care would be needed). Most offer a safe, clean, active environment for seniors with meals, transportation, outings, barber/beauty salons. Home care can keep the senior in their home for longer periods; but it is expensive option and there is still the need to ensure the home is safe/secure and accessible (trip/fall/slip prevention; shower accessibility, stairs, etc.).
Well, which is it? Is Dad functioning fairly well or dying?
You're trying to make money the issue, when it sounds more like jealousy. Somehow your 3 brothers all inherited money from their inlaws? So what? (Are you sure it wasn't their wives who inherited the money?)
If Mom could live many more years, can you afford, (since you've already had a severe financial loss) to keep her at home for all those years? Will you be able to work and maintain an income to provide for them? They would probably qualify for Medicaid. It isn't quitting or giving up to move them to a facility where they can receive many visits from their loving, well rested daughter who isn't trying to wipe their butts and make them take showers when they don't want to. If only 2 years into the process, you are already labeling yourself burned out, you may not last the whole of it anyway. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
By the way, word of loving advice here - you need a best friend who is closer to your age and who you can get out of the house and do things with and relate to. As does your mother if she's still able to maintain a friendship. Having Mother as your 'best friend' is not a healthy relationship.
She trusts her sons and doesn't believe you about something, but I'm not sure what.
Doubt that all the legal problems and certain-to-be rift between her children would make her happy.