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You will be best served now if you accept your new reality with your wife and make sure that she's getting the best and correct care out there.
And make sure that you're educating yourself about whatever the doctors say she has, so you're better prepared for what ever lies ahead.
And if her care gets to be too much for you, make sure you're either hiring some in home help or look into placing her in the appropriate facility, where she will receive the care she requires and you can get back to just being her loving husband and advocate.
I wish you both well.
Per your profile:
About Me
I am 82 , I am a diabetic for about 15 years and now i have developed Nerological problem, Nerologists in Stanford and in Sutter Health say I may have developed Parkisonisam try have put me on LEODOPA , Carbidopa !
Instead of wishing you could both be young and carefree again, perhaps try being grateful for the daily blessings you DO have which invites abundance into your lives.
Good luck.
There are medications to be tried and etc.
I know you wish she were as cheerful and as able as once she was, but sounds as though she is becoming more debilitated due to her illness.
Can you tell us what help you have in caring for your wife? Has she had any rehab or any PT help for balance? Do you have a support system of family around you?
Do you consider that you and your wife should be in a situation now where you have more caregiving support?
Why do you have an actual diagnosis but she hasn't been able to get one?
As more help is needed due to poor mobility or advancement of disease then it is sometimes necessary to go to where the help is as it gets very expensive to bring the help to you.
I know it is hard to stop living independent until it becomes obvious that all independence is gone due to the need for extra help.
I am sorry and wish for you and your wife to find the help you need in order to have more cheerful days enjoying activities together. It is hard to accept our limitations in life. They come all too soon.
If you or your wife fall backward, it probably is Parkinsons. There are special walkers made for those who have Parkinsons.
I hope you can get a firm diagnosis. While a 'label' seldom brings a cure, it names what beast you are dealing with. This can help planning. Eg when to consider a higher level of care.