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My FIL is 89 . We placed him last year and he doesnt think he belongs with the “ “ old people “ either.
I don't know what she thought about being with all the old people at first, but I suspect that she never thought about that once she was so far gone with her illness. Dancing was the highlight of her life, and everyone loved to watch her.
The things we think are important in normal life become less important when something like dementia happens to us. Don't worry about your sister so much. She won't be thinking things through the way she's always done.
I suggest you wait as long as possible to place your sister, and when the time comes, look for Memory Care facilities that group residents together by degree of ability. That way, you don't have advanced dementia sufferers doing crafts and eating meals with moderately affected elders. They'd then be able to carry on conversations to a degree w/o it being all word salad, etc.
My mother was 92 when she went into Memory Care and insisted, until her dying day at 95, that there was nothing wrong with her.....that everyone else was "old" and "crazy", but not her. That's known as anosognosia in the world of dementia, Google it.
Best of luck to you.
Respectfully, what does her appearance have to do with anything? My friend's Mom got ALZ at 58, some people get it much younger than that.
Even if she asks “Why am I here with all these old people?" she won't remember your answer. You use a therapeutic fib like, "You're just here temporarily until ______ the water main is fixed, the gas leak is fixed, the furnace is fixed... etc. Maybe the facility can fold her in as a helper/volunteer so that she sees herself seperately as the others.
I'm so sorry for her having dementia at such a young age... may you receive wisdom and peace in your heart.
I just read your profile. I am happy that you’re managing your health well and that your sister is doing well in a small board and care home.
It is wise of you to be thinking ahead for your sister’s care. Many people on this forum have family members in assisted living facilities and memory care. I am sure that you will gain knowledge from their experiences.
It’s smart to choose an assisted living facility that has a memory care unit available in case it is needed later on.
I would be more concerned about what services the facility provides rather than focusing on age of the residents.
You seem to be prepared since you have already established POA for your sister. She is fortunate to have a brother who is looking out for her best interests.
Best wishes to you and your sister.
Those with dementia go into a memory care lockdown unit built usually around a enclosed court yard so residents just wonder around all day between meals while aids one by one toilet then before their next meal . Getting ready for bed happens right after dinner because it takes the rest of the shift giving showers toileting changing cleaning putting them to bed sometimes multiple times. One aid to take care of 15 residents alone.
Not much quality of life.
People who are still active and youthful do not go into care homes be around even young looking residents with dementia. It would be depressing to be stuck in the facility if you still can take care of yourself. Q
My great grandmother lived on her own till 98 past in her sleep. I have a resident that's 62 walks around looking for his wife has no idea where he.
The best situation is being kept social with family visits ,clean and fed kept comfortable.
I guess the truth is when someone needs care you have to see what is available in their chosen area, or area chosen by family.
Unfortunately, many people under 65 are living in aged care homes. Many have progressive diseases like MS, ALS, aquired brain injury from road trauma or earlier onset dementia. Group homes for under 65 do exist, but not in every area, certainly harder out of bigger cities, have long wait lists or mix people without enough choice for residents. Real choice for who they want to live can be very hard. Any age? Or 18-40s, 40s-65? Preferences for all female or mixed sex housemates. People with physical disability or psycho-social & cognitive impaired also. What about religious or cultural preferences?
But back to your sister. She may well wonder why she is with "old" people. You will have to wait & see how she adjusts. She may align herself with the care staff & make friends there.
Tour your chosen places again. Move focus from age to activities. What activities are on offer? Singing, crafts, bingo?
What does your Sister like to do?
She may look young, is she physically fit & sporty? Is there dancing, a walking group?
(My relative loves art but cannot join physical groups, needs chair based activities. Has enjoyed crafts, concerts & films. Enjoys the company of older people despite being much younger than the others.)