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She also may be having some pain as well, so that needs to be addressed too.
If her aide cannot get your sister to cooperate, you may have to find another one that is used to dealing with folks with dementia, as not all are.
And honestly if your sisters care is just too much for you all, then placement in a memory care facility will have to be the next step.
In the meantime she also needs to be medicated. Whatever she's on isn't working. Call her doctor and ask him to prescribe lorazepam or diazepam in liquid form. About 15 minutes before you and an aide (two people) are going to be getting her washed up and changed, give her something tasty to drink and dose it. This will keep her mellow enough to get her washed up in bed and in a clean diaper. Dose her at night too. Ask the doctor if he can prescribe a sleeping medication that would be compatible with a benzodiazepine drugs. This will help put her out at night.
I was a homecare worker for 25 years. I've seen this scenario play out many, many times. A person has dementia and won't allow themselves to be cleaned up or changed. You do it anyway. Let her scream herself voiceless, do it anyway. A person cannot be left in a spoiled pull-up or diaper because that will lead to so many types of health problems from UTI's to skin sores. Your sister is at the point now in her dementia where pull-ups should be a thing of the past. She should be in actual tabbed adult diapers now.
Look for a memory care facility. If she gets too hard to handle you can bring her to a hospital ER and ask for a 'Social Admit' because she cannot be cared for at home anymore. They will admit her until they find a memory care that has an available bed. This action is the last resort.
Cost is another factor. Your sisters will have to spend all her money (if she has any) before she will be eligible for Medicaid.
You are lucky to be her sister rather than her spouse. Spouses lose most of the money they have managed to save throughout life when one of them has to go into a facility. Half of all the assets (minus the house and one car) must be spent before the person in the nursing home qualifies for Medicaid. It may not make the spouse still at home into a pauper, but it comes darn close.