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I hope that you will fill out your profile.
I would like especially to know your age, your daughter's age?
Who lives with who? Are you and daughter living in mom's home with her?
Is she living in your home with you?
What is mom's overall condition mentally and physically? What activities and friends?
What limitations?
In knowing only what little you tell us here I will suggest first of all that you and daughter attend Al-Anon together. You will meet so many in like circumstances who are dealing with alcoholism. You will get guidance to help and suggestions, but most of all you will understand that the non-alcoholic is basically as helpless as the alcoholic in this situation, and has really only two options. One is to stay (in which case nagging and hounding someone is worthless and counter productive) and the other is to go (which means basically to tell the alcoholic they are on their own, and supply numbers for AA when they wish to get some help.
I will leave you with this. I once famously said to my partner, about his mom's alcoholism, "It's an option". She didn't live with us. She chose to keep herself pretty lubricated with a constant flow of vodka and OJ. He visited her in AZ once yearly and called every Sunday. He helped her in arranging a reverse mortgage and she kept her cleaning gal until her death. Even when almost bedbound she took joy in her cocktails and in the little running water from the hose that fed a pond frequented by her desert wildlife. It was her choice. She may have fallen? If she did we didn't know; we were 100s and 100s of miles away.
I wish you the best. I am so sorry. I think there is honestly little that you may be able to do.
Sounds like she's depressed and self medicating and maybe an alcoholic now. Does she have any interest in bettering her situation by getting off the booze? If not, you're going to have to set boundaries and extricate yourself as soon as she gets nasty to you or your daughter. She especially does not deserve this and should not be subjected to mistreatment.
Best of luck.
Alvadeer said everything, and it's not much more I can add to this.
My mother was an alcoholic. I've been a member of Al-Anon for over forty years. Al-Anon was there for me when I was going through those storms of manipulations, verbal and physical abuse.
With that being said it is still difficult at times to leave, and I have for a long time brought it home. I've learned much after joining this forum.
I've learned, I didn't make mom old.
I've learned that life is short and I deserve to be happy even if mom is not, or in pain.
I've learned how to feel sadness for her declining health, but how to let it go. It takes practice and a lot of talking to myself, telling myself over and over I deserve to be happy.
I feel the pain and the sadness, but for the most part when I walk back into my house I let it go.
I suspect this is called compartmentalizing .
I accept it for what it is. Let go let God, we can not change any of this but we can change how we handle it.
Try to meditate and mindfulness.
And a lot of telling myself, let go let God. Or it is what it is.
Religion or not read the serenity prayer. It helps a lot.
I've also realized how short life really is and I'm going to be as happy as I can while I'm here
Welcome to are forum. Think of you
And if you're not living together, just stay away..... as in far away.
You nor your daughter deserve to live your lives with an alcoholic. Period, end of sentence.
I would like to think that you would think enough of your own daughter that you wouldn't continue to expose her to this BS, and your alcoholic mother.
So stay away, call APS and report a vulnerable adult living by themselves and let them handle things from there.
If and when your mother seeks help for her drinking, then you can decide if you want to be back in her life, but until then make sure that you and your daughter are attending some Al-Anon meetings as they will be able to help you both be stronger and learn the danger of enabling an alcoholic.