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"I am caring for my mother Deanna, who is 74 years old, living in my home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, diabetes, and sleep disorder."
Are you her PoA or legal guardian? If not, then I don't think you can remove her from the NH without the permission of whoever is legally managing her affairs. Not sure you even have the authority to request a doctor visit in the facility for her.
Your first discussion should be with her PoA or legal guardian. If she doesn't have one, or you are it, then the lead nurse for her floor, then the admins of the facility.
Please understand that the staff cannot legally force someone to take meds or eat. The most they can do is come up with creative ways to encourage her to do those things. But if you see her regularly and have noticed her weight loss, this is a problem. If you are just now visiting her after a year, then maybe this isn't the emergency you think it is.
People with ALZ do come to a point where they eat less and sleep more and disengage (my cousin won't open her eyes, even when she talks to you, she's very thin and in hospice care at 71).
Maybe it's time for hospice care for your Mom. But her PoA or legal guardian is the one that sets this all up.
More info about who is legally able to make decicions on her behalf would be helpful.
One opportunist moved in with her sister and then called me to say my dad needed to go to the hospital because he was "getting mean". I said well you leave if he's getting mean it's his house ...Git ...If you're telling me you don't feel safe then GTF out of his house. He doesn't leave it's his house; You leave you pathetic losers.
What discussion have you had with your mother's doctors?
What recommendations/choices/options have they discussed with you?
Note: not all pills can be prepared this way. The pill printout should say if the pill is crushable or not.
Maybe she could drink her nutrition in a protein shake..Sometimes loss of appetite could be end of life.Hospice can be very helpful.
With dementia people do begin to eat less.
There are problems with swallowing.
There are problems with chewing.
Towards the end of life a person will stop eating, stop drinking. This is normal and it is not painful. As the body shuts down it does not need the nutrients the body can not process food that it would if it were fully functioning. To do a feeding tube would do more harm than good as the body could not process it.
If she is not eating because she is not on the medications that she should be most medications can be dosed as a patch, suppository or a liquid. Any of these could be administered more easily than trying to get her to take an oral medication.
What I would suggest is that you have her evaluated by Hospice. They can let you know where she is, educate you on exactly what is happening so that you have fewer concerns.
Both of my parents lost weight, refused medicines, then food, shortly thereafter..They were ready to move on to their next chapter.🕊️🕊️ Hospice taught me how end of life unfolds peacefully..I miss my Mom & Dad, but know they are in a better place & whole again.❤️😇
That's difficult because we want to do as much as we can and it feels like neglect when we can't persuade our loved ones to eat. However, your mum (like mine) is in decline. There is no getting better.
My mum stopped eating properly after a stroke. Now, 13 years later, with vascular dementia, my mum rarely eats at all. Some days she'll eat an ice cream lolly, or half a toasted teacake, but mostly she eats nothing all day.
Mum will reluctantly drink the supplement milkshakes, and she's still swallowing her many tablets, but it's getting more difficult for her to do so.
She sleeps most of the time and it's a real effort for her to take notice of what's going on around her.
That's no life.
When my mum finally refuses to swallow the milkshakes (she hates them) and/or her tablets, I will know that she will soon be leaving us. I'm not going to force her to swallow, or give her them another way, and I'm trying to get her husband on the same page.
I want my mum to go as peacefully as possible, and for her to have as dignified an end as possible.
She deserves that.
those meal in a drink with vitamins
the small bottles
I later found out my father had tooth denture issues but didn’t say which made things easy! (Not!)
so check there isn’t anything physically wrong first
overall as elderly decline I read it’s a natural progression this not eating malarkey!
I switched to small very soft meals
that didn’t need chewing or could give issues swallowing
and I stood by him talking as he was made to finish the drink
its not easy
maybe you eating at the same time and acting like you’re not monitoring may help
and check out issues with chewing and swallowing tho as well
good luck /stay strong
My mother seemed to do better with drinking than eating. She actually told me once that she only ate because she knew that she had to. She claimed that she was hardly ever hungry.
Most people will lose their appetite as they get older. If she can have treats bring her ice cream or other high calorie foods.
She constantly thinks of food
interesting how different it affects people